Posts Tagged ‘special memory’

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Our marriage had so many great moments during the years before I began to fall apart. One theme that was pretty constant was my attempting, and often succeeding, in making Ceecee’s dreams come true. There have been many small ones and a few big ones.

One that happened recently had nothing to do with me. Well, not on the surface anyway. Ceecee had put a baby up for adoption long ago and had set it up to be an open adoption. She had always kept in touch with the lawyer and made sure he had her current address and contact information at all times.

The parents were supposed to have agreed that whenever the child asked about her biological parents, she would be told and that it would be her choice to initiate contact, if she wanted to. Ceecee often talked about her and wondered when that contact would occur.

When the time came that the girl would be turning sixteen, we believed that maybe it would be soon, but nothing happened. Again, around and following her 18th birthday, we anticipated that we would hear something. No contact was made again.

We knew what her adopted name was and had made small attempts to see if there were any public records or a Facebook page that would allow us to simply see how she seemed to be growing up, but there was never anything that we found that told us anything. Our oldest daughter had tried to find her more than once, but everything had proven to be false trails.

Then, one day recently, Angie called and said that she thought this time she had really found her on Facebook. Ceecee wasn’t allowed to initiate contact, but there was nothing preventing Angie from messaging her. She sent a friend request, which was accepted.

About this time, Ceecee came up to me one evening, held out her phone and said, “Look at this.” She was showing me a picture and I said, “Why are you showing me a picture of Kasey?” (Kasey is our middle daughter.) Ceecee said, “That’s not Kasey.” I looked again and just said, “Wow!” The family resemblance was uncanny. There was no doubt she was a sister.

Finally, it got to where everything was out in the open and Ceecee and her long ago adopted daughter got to speak on the phone briefly the other night. It’s just been one more amazing highlight in this magical time of our lives. While I had no direct impact on this taking place, we’ve talked about how much different this might be if we hadn’t worked our marriage out.

They would still be biological mother and daughter, regardless. The fact that Ceecee is now stable, happy, and in a good place is so much better than the alternative, though. This isn’t going to change anyone’s life, but we anticipate visits and the building of some amount of relationship as time goes by. I can’t be happier to be a part of it

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Yesterday was the day Veteran’s Day was observed, so it was a day off for Ceecee and me. We did something crazy that we may regret later, but for now it makes a fun story.
For the bass pro marathon, they put these huge stickers on the roads and sidewalks at various points along the route that had encouraging sayings on them. They are rectangular and approximately 2 x 3 feet in dimensions. A week after the race, they were all still there.

You may have guessed what happens next. We took our bikes out and came across more than one of them. Ceecee commented about wanting one for the loft, so when we found one along the trail, away from traffic, we dismounted to have a closer look.

It was very thick and peeled right off, so I rolled it up inside out and carried it home. The loft has a concrete floor and we stuck it down right at the end of the hall where it opens up into the living area. I suppose it may have been stealing, but nobody seemed intent on gathering them back up, and even if they did, it’s not like they could be re-used. I’m sure they would simply be thrown away.

Anyway, now it’s our souvenir. Ceecee says she’ll probably never run another full marathon, but she is now one of very few who have not only completed one, but brought a little part of the course home and made it part of the décor.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Had my MRI yesterday. Now we wait for the results. Depending on what it shows, it could either mean surgery or rehab. I just want to get it fixed, so I can do the things I want to be able to do. I don’t want surgery, but I do want to get better.

After the marathon, I thought Ceecee would be really wiped. I also thought she’d be ravenously hungry. Turned out neither was true, which was both good and bad. I’ll explain.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it in this blog, but I’ve been a wine columnist and freelance food and wine writer since 2004. The wire service that used to run my weekly wine column succumbed to the poor economy and the general demise of print media two years ago, so I’ve just been doing some local stuff and freelancing ever since.

There are a couple of local publications that have me doing fairly regular stories, and this past weekend was one of them. Ozarks Public Television has a big yearly event here that I cover as a wine writer, and this year, I got my editor to agree to let Ceecee go also as a food writer, since she’s been to culinary school and used to cook in a big resort near Branson.

On Friday night, they had a dinner at one of the better restaurants in town. Then, on Sunday afternoon, they had their big food and wine celebration at a convention center downtown. This was the same day as the marathon, so we left there around noon and the food and wine event was to run from 2-5 pm. I figured that Ceecee would either be dead on her feet and wouldn’t enjoy it, or she would be starving and would eat and drink everything.

In the end, she was neither, but we enjoyed the event. I was glad for Ceecee to get to be there and share in the food and drink. Now she’s cooking at the loft and playing Jack Johnson on the stereo. Tonight we’re watching “Julie and Julia,” one of our favorite food movies.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Yesterday’s doctor’s appointment was frustrating. I was really hoping he would say that my experience was common and would know what to do about it. Instead, he acted like he’d never heard of anything like it. He had me do a bunch of things and asked if it hurt or had me resist against pressure from him.

Finally he said that he thinks it’s because my hips are weak and it makes me unstable when I run long distances. I don’t know about that, but that’s what he came up with. He scheduled me for an MRI Monday and we’ll go from there.

Tomorrow is Ceecee’s marathon. It still overwhelms me and confuses me to no end when I think about all of this from when she first decided to run this marathon and everything we’ve been through since. I wouldn’t trade what we have now for anything in the world, and I’m not sure if there was another way we could have gotten here. Even so, I can’t help but wonder what really caused our separation and if we could have avoided it.

Can’t live in the past though, so it’s onward to better things. Ceecee has really lavished love on me lately and I’m basking in that. I finally feel the way I’ve always wanted to, but never thought I could. She makes me feel like I’m the most valuable and special person in the world.

I always have to laugh at the irony that Ceecee and I often spend “Black Friday” on Chicago’s Michigan Avenue. The so-called Magnificent Mile is probably the country’s third most famous shopping street, after New York’s 5th Avenue and Beverly Hills’ Rodeo Drive. The irony is that we have almost no interest in black Friday, and certainly none in giving up our sleep to go after “door busters” and other such sales.

The reality is, we are there to spend a holiday with each other in our favorite city, not to shop. We go for romance, food, sightseeing, and making special memories, not to stand in line in the wee hours in hopes of purchasing things that we don’t really even want. It just strikes us as funny that we usually stay in a hotel that’s either on Michigan Avenue, or within a block or two, not because it’s Michigan Avenue, but because it’s central to so many of the things we enjoy in Chicago.

While others are preparing to go to great lengths to spend lots of time and money competing to buy material possessions, we are preparing to sleep late, eat a leisurely breakfast, and then go sightseeing, stopping in at a few stores if we so desire, but with no real plan for the day. We have nothing against people trying to get a good deal, or getting a jump on their Christmas shopping. We just have an entirely different agenda, and the fact that we are often right in the very heart of some of the most intense shopping you’ll find seems almost comical.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year. I especially hope you spent time with who you love and were thankful for what you have. Whether you bought anything today or not, I hope you have much to be thankful for. Those black Friday purchases likely won’t last or bring fulfillment, but your relationships certainly may.

Monday, October 25, 2010

I had to ride my bike while Ceecee ran 12 miles this morning. I can’t run on my knee, but she’s still training for her marathon. It seems crazy now that when this all started, she was saying she was going to run a marathon to prove she isn’t old.

The game was fun yesterday. My team lost and hers won. We both cheered for our teams, but we almost wanted the other to win so that each other wouldn’t feel bad. What we have now is so good. I’ll take it over any football win anytime, anywhere.

We drove home through rain for most of the way, while listening to Jack Johnson on the CD player. The scenery was beautiful and we enjoyed every bit of it. Nine days of celebration surrounding an anniversary that almost wasn’t and now we’re back home.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

It’s amazing to be this blessed. Ceecee loved the ring and the flowers and posted that it was the best anniversary ever. Not bad for a casual, low-key day. I asked her if she had any idea that she was getting the ring and she said that she hoped that she was and she hadn’t forgotten about it, but didn’t want to get her hopes up in case she wasn’t. It made me feel good to be the hero who came through and did the right thing and made her hopes come true.

Tonight is date night, and we leave for Tennessee tomorrow after work. I’m kind of shocked that Macy’s actually allowed me to take all this time off. Maybe they knew that I probably would have quit and taken the time anyway if they’d said no. they know I don’t really need this job, but it has been nice to have the extra money to be able to do all these things.

Wednesday, October 20

So today is our 14th anniversary and for most people, that’s not a significant one. For us, there has never been one more significant, nor will there probably ever be. Just three months ago, there was very little hope that this day would ever come. I had spent months desperately trying to repair the damage and win back the woman I loved, but who I had not known how to connect with in a meaningful way for at least a couple of years.

I’m at work and we don’t have any big plans for tonight. I ordered a pretty nice bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates to be delivered to Ceecee at work today. We’ll go out to eat tonight, but it will be pretty low-key. We went out Monday night, and last night Ceecee cooked me some of her lasagna which she only makes from scratch. We had a big time last weekend and we’re leaving for Tennessee Friday night and today just feels comfortable. There’s no pressure to make this one day any huge deal because we’ve been intentionally celebrating our love since last Friday evening.

Really, we’re just having fun. We are enjoying each other’s company and the simple joys of being in love. We each feel a deep sense of gratitude and appreciation for the fact that we’re together and we’re just kind of floating through these days. It’s like we’re under a spell and I’m sure not going to do anything to break it.

I did pull off a potentially huge surprise, though. My wife has been looking for a certain style of black onyx ring for at least two or three years now. She has talked about it and shown me different ones, but always said she hadn’t found the one she really wanted yet. Very soon after we got back together, she did find it. She came to see me at Macy’s in August and told me that they had the ring she’d been looking for downstairs in the jewelry department and that she had seen it on her way in to see me.

She told me how much it was and I pretty much acted like I wasn’t really listening to make her think there was no way she was actually getting it. In fact, I bought it the very next day and have had it hidden in a drawer at home ever since. It’s never come up again, but she’s getting it today and, as far as I know, she has absolutely no idea.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

When we got to Springfield this afternoon, we drove straight to Old Chicago for some football and comfort food. We hadn’t meant to leave St. Louis so early, but my knee is way more messed up than I realized.

We ate breakfast in the hotel with our costumes on, which started some interesting conversation, and we got someone to take a couple of pictures of us. Then we went to the 10K and it was really a neat experience to take in everything from serious runners who were really there to compete, to some really great and even some totally outrageous costumes. The guy who won the costume contest made a huge cage and half a praying mantis sticking up about 3 feet out of the top of it. He made fake human legs hanging over the front, and his legs were praying mantis’ legs running on the bottom. He carried that thing for the entire 6.2 miles.

About 3 miles in, my knee just started killing me. I tried to run through the pain, but I couldn’t. I told my wife to just go on ahead and not let me ruin it for her, but she just kept saying, “We’re together.” She stayed with me while I had to walk most of the last 3 miles and not only didn’t complain, but made me feel like I was the most important thing in the world to her. I jogged a little bit here and there, but never very long because of the pain. When we could see the finish line, we took each other’s hand and ran the last part together. I almost fell because it hurt so much, but I was determined that we wouldn’t walk across the finish line.

After the race, I could barely walk, so after the costume contest was over and the prizes awarded, I hobbled to the car and we went for lunch and then hit the road. It was a shame to be hurt like that, but Ceecee was so wonderful and loving that it almost didn’t matter. I was just a little worried about what the implications were and whether I would end up having to have surgery on my knee.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Our actual anniversary isn’t until Wednesday, but as of 3:00 today when we left work, anniversary week has begun! We are going all out and this is going to actually be a nine day anniversary celebration, because this is the one that was never going to be until the miracle of our restoration began taking place. It’s really almost 10 days if you count tonight, which I am.

Tomorrow we leave for St. Louis and a week from Sunday, we’ll be coming back from Tennessee. We’ve had some Cat Stevens references going back and forth on Facebook between us today. Ceecee wrote, “The wild world sent me home…where I belong,” and “You found your hard headed woman.” I wrote back, “And I know the rest of my life will be blessed.” We are the only ones who truly know how much that exchange meant, but let’s just say it did my heart a lot of good. On the one hand, I don’t really like it when she plays “wild world” in the car, because I know it represented her leaving me to go see what was out there on the wild side, but on the other hand, that CD was a gift of love that I gave her and there are some other songs on it that have become meaningful to us.