Archive for June, 2013

Day 300 and Counting… Restoring the Medical Mile and 5K

Posted: June 27, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, June 4, 2011

What a good idea we had at art walk last night!

We haven’t really done a lot of planning for our vow renewal ceremony, but we know we want it to be fun, casual, and only include some family and a very few close friends – those who have stood by us and would really understand what this means. Last night at art walk, they were giving out free samples of cake pops and they had them in a bunch of different fun flavors and colors. We both thought they would be perfect to serve instead of a cake at our ceremony, so we’re going to look into pricing and flavors!

This morning, Ceecee ran the medical Mile and 5K, just like last year.  Well, other than her getting second place in the mile in her age group for the second year in a row, it was nothing like last year.

Last year, our marriage was going down the drain and she was making plans for a life without me.  This year, we were together and very much in each other’s hearts and minds.  This is just one of many restorations to come this summer!

Later today, we’re going to my Dad’s to celebrate his 81st birthday.  Hard to believe we’re 300 days into the restoration tour.  It’s all seeming to happen so fast now, but I’m making sure to document and savor it as much as possible while it happens.

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Day 294 and Counting… Starting with a Bang!

Posted: June 24, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Summer of restoration started with a bang this morning.  Literally.

I unexpectedly didn’t have to work at Macy’s and we decided to have brunch with Mimosas at the loft.  When I was opening the bottle of bubbly, the cork shot up and off the ceiling.  We had a good laugh and have spent the day mostly laying around.

I still have to work Monday and Tuesday, then no more second job.  So much to look forward to this summer.

My parents surprised us with a blessing that I’m really excited about.  One of our counselors at school has a timeshare at Big Cedar Lodge where my wife used to work.  They sometimes sell rooms for a good price and they had a one bedroom for August 1-5 and my parents paid for it so we could take a second honeymoon!

Day 291 and Counting… School’s Out For Summer!

Posted: June 23, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Last day of school today, and it was a half day at that.  Ceecee’s last day was yesterday.  She also had her interview and she got the library job for next year, so that’s a real blessing.  

I like my job and I love teaching, but this has been an unusually difficult group of students and we weren’t sad to see the year come to an end.  In fact, and I don’t know whose idea it was, but all of us who teach in the west building met right outside as soon as the final bell rang  We put Hawaiian leis around our necks, set up a plastic swimming pool on the sidewalk, and held up plastic margarita glasses while we waved as the busses went by.

Day 288 and Counting… Letting Go of the Second Job

Posted: June 18, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Monday, May 23, 2011

I finally put my notice in at Macy’s.  I haven’t needed the job for quite a while, but the extra money has been nice.

My getting that job was also a key step in getting my wife back because it showed her I was willing to be unselfish and sacrifice to make things better.  It was easy work, but it’s time for it to end.

In fact, my wife has wanted me to quit for some time now because she’d rather have me home than get the extra paycheck.  Our last day of school is this Thursday, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to work during our summer of restoration.

I’ll wrap up this weekend and then I’m done.  We’ll have all of June and July to complete the remaining steps on the restoration tour and then we’ll be riding the Tour de Cox and having our vow renewal ceremony on August 6th!

Day 287 and Counting… Another Graduation, More Restoration

Posted: June 15, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, May 22, 2011

Speaking of graduation, we found ourselves at another graduation ceremony this past weekend.

We drove out to western Kansas because my daughter from a previous marriage graduated high school in a small town called Bucklin.  She also had her baby about a month ago and we hadn’t seen him yet, so this was to be our first visit as grandparents.

It was definitely a trip of good times and bad times.

Let’s start with the bad.  During the graduation ceremony, they did this thing that was really cool.  Well, for some people, that is.

There were a bunch of roses on the stage and the graduates could go and get roses and present them to parents, grandparents, etc. out in the audience.  It was a powerful moment during the ceremony, but there was no rose for me.

I shook it off and went to talk to her and see the baby afterward.  My daughter did let me hold Carter, but otherwise pretty much blew me off and it hurt.

My ex wife came over and started trying to talk to me and Ceecee stepped in and told her to back off and leave me alone.  It was pretty cool that she was so assertive in a protective way for me, since she obviously knew I was upset.

The cool part was when we had left Bucklin and were on our way to Dodge City, where my in-laws are. I was thinking about the time I went to Dodge City during our separation and I brought back a Mexican cake and these special marinated steaks that we used to love to eat when we lived there.  Kasey, my wife’s youngest daughter was with us and she mentioned wanting to go to the Mexican store and I looked at Ceecee and she said, “It could be a little restoration.”

It was so amazingly great to be on the same page like that, and it turned out to be really cool for Kasey to be able to share it with us.  Last time, I had gone there by myself and things hadn’t gone well when I had come back.  This time, we were there together on the restoration tour and things couldn’t be better.

Day 279 and Counting… A Graduation Restoration

Posted: June 14, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, May 15, 2011

As much as we love the family, going to this graduation party was tough.  It was also a necessary stop on the restoration tour, and in the end, we’re both glad we went.

See, a friend of mine has a daughter who is a true miracle child.  She wasn’t even given much chance to live, much less grow up and graduate from high school when she was born at just 1 pound, 6 ounces, but grow up and graduate, she did.  There was a lot of prayer and sacrifice that went into getting to this day and we certainly wanted to be there to take part in the celebration.

The problem was that the party was being held at the church we attended at the time we separated.  That meant facing some of the people and the memories of that time of failure and loss, and my wife wasn’t sure she was ready to do that.  In the end, we agreed to go, with the understanding that I would stay by her side and not allow her to be put in any kind of uncomfortable situation.

It all turned out well and made a statement of who we are as a couple now.  It was also a confirmation of the prophetic words my friend had spoken to me during Ceecee’s and my separation, when he said, “When this is all over, you’re going to get a brand new wife.”  He didn’t mean a new person to be my wife, but that Ceecee would be made new and return to me healed and whole.

Day 277 and Counting… Restoring Ceecee’s Birthday

Posted: June 11, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Friday, May 13, 2011

Ceecee’s birthday had to be epic this year.  I mean, it absolutely HAD to!

I keep thinking about last year’s birthday, when I took Ceecee to Old Chicago and had the kids meet us there with gifts, even though she had insisted we weren’t celebrating.  She was turning 39 then and had gone on about not being old and going to run a marathon to prove she wasn’t.

That was around the time we were splitting up and I was trying to hold things together and understand what was happening.  After we left Old Chicago, I had surprised her with a road bicycle, but it had been a difficult and painful birthday all around.

This year, we’re back together, and I went all out to restore her birthday and create new, happy memories to replace those ones.

My wife is a kid at heart, so i decided to give her a princess birthday.  We both really hate those “over the hill” 40th birthdays and I certainly wasn’t going to use the “you’re getting old” theme, so I went the complete opposite way.

I bought princess wrapping paper, silly bands, and little girl party favors.  I gave her gifts throughout the day, filled her car with pink balloons, and organized a silly little party at our downtown cupcake shop with a few friends.  I also gave her a necklace to match her ring and the bracelet she got for Mother’s Day.

It was a beautiful day of restoration and a lot of fun to plan and be part of, and she loved it.  The best part about it for me was when she said that she could really tell that I knew her well enough and had thought about it enough to understand what she would want and how special that made it for her.

Day 272 and Counting… Restoring Mother’s Day

Posted: June 6, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Today being Mother’s Day is another important step on the restoration tour.  Not that Ceecee is my mother, of course, but she is the mother of our children and I’ve always tried to honor her on Mother’s Day and make it special for her.

Being empty nesters now means no kids to get up and get ready, so I made Ceecee breakfast in bed and just let her lounge around for the morning.  Last year’s Mother’s Day was far from being a celebration, so this is another stop on the tour and it’s important to make the day special and meaningful.

Our oldest daughter Angie – on behalf of the kids, although it was really her – came by today and gave her a bracelet to match the ring I got her for our anniversary last year.  I helped her pick it out and we had it all planned, and it was really a nice way to top off a terrific day!

Day 271 and Counting… Restoring the May Day 5K

Posted: June 5, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, May 7, 2011

Last year, my wife ran the May Day 5K in Republic, MO, while I watched, cheered, and agonized over the state of our marriage.  I wasn’t in running shape at the time, but I had been doing the couch to 5K program and I did run the 1 mile fun run.

Today, we both ran the May Day 5K as part of the restoration tour.

Last year at this time, I could only wonder why my wife had decided we were through.  I still had hope on the day of last year’s race, but things had to get much worse before they got better.

Today, it wasn’t our times or whether we placed (we didn’t) that mattered.  It was that we were together, in love, and committed to restoring our marriage.

That’s the goal of this year of restoration.  It’s to replace the painful memories with new, happy ones.  It’s to heal the hurts we caused each other and repair the damage of our past mistakes by creating a new present that will become our new future.

Day 265 and Counting… Early Birthday Pizza!

Posted: June 4, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, May 1, 2011

We didn’t waste any time on Ceecee’s free birthday pizza this year!

If you belong to Old Chicago’s World Beer Tour, they send you an email every year with a code for a free pizza for your birthday.  It’s good for the entire month that your birthday falls in and it’s not a “buy one, get one” or anything like that.  It’s just a free pizza. and even though Ceecee’s birthday isn’t for almost 2 more weeks, we went today!

Yesterday was 9 months since “the phone call” and tomorrow will be 9 months back together.  Only about three months left on the restoration tour, and then the Tour de Cox and our vow renewal ceremony.  Everything has changed in these 9 months and I find it so hard to fathom that two people who are as happy and in love as we are ever let ourselves get so lost that we thought our marriage was over.

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