Posts Tagged ‘broken marriage’

Day 360 and Counting… One Year After “The Phone Call”

Posted: August 28, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, July 31, 2011

One year since “the phone call!”

One year ago today, after completing the mock triathlon with my training group prior to my first triathlon, Ceecee called me and asked me to move back in with her.  Why I had it so firmly in my mind that when I completed the triathlon, somehow we would be reconciled, I don’t know.  I just had an incredible amount of faith for that.  Of course, I thought it would be when I completed the actual triathlon; I never imagined the mock tri having any significance.

Anyway, that was exactly a year ago and two days later, I moved into the loft with my wonderful wife and a week later, the restoration tour began.  Now it’s nearly finished and it seems that it’s only been a few days and that it’s been forever, both at the same time.

Two days from now, one year to the day that I moved back in, we leave on our second honeymoon!  We’re going to Big Cedar Lodge, a world class resort south of Branson.  My wife used to work there and we have quite a history with the place.

Just go to the search bar on this blog and search “Big Cedar” and you’ll find numerous posts related to it.  From the tornado, to the ice storm, to shortly before we split up, Big Cedar Lodge has been a part of our lives.  Now, we will restore that beautiful place in a way that I’m sure neither of us will ever forget!

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Day 352 and Counting… Fun in the California sun

Posted: August 25, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Monday, July 25, 2011

There’s so much we’ve seen and done in so little time.  This trip has been a bit of a blur.

When we got finished in wine country, we drove down to San Francisco, where we met my brother and his family.  He had gotten us great tickets to a giants game, and after that, we headed to Morro Bay, where they have a vacation home that is shared among various relatives.

We spent a day there, then over the next two days, we visited San Luis Obispo and stayed at my brother’s home just outside of Fresno.  Yesterday, we spent the day exploring Yosemite National Park, which was incredibly beautiful.  We’ve had so much fun, laughed so much, and truly enjoyed each other’s company and the wonderful love we now share.

Day 346 and Counting… The “Poofiest” Dress

Posted: August 14, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Well, my wife bought her dress for the ceremony.  It’s bright orange (yes, I know Alice wore a blue dress in the movie), and I don’t know any other way to describe it except, “poofy.”  We also went around and found a variety of accessories to go with it and it should be a dress that no one will forget!

We ordered the cake pops and I think the preparations are pretty much good at this point.  They kind of have to be, since we leave for California tomorrow!  Then we come back for 2 days, head to Big Cedar Lodge for our second honeymoon, come back home and the next day is our ceremony.

Hard to believe it’s been almost exactly a year.  On the one hand, it’s been the longest year imaginable.  On the other, it’s gone by so fast it seems like last week that we were getting back together.

 

Day 342 and Counting… Restoring the “Girls Just Wanna Run 5K

Posted: August 11, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, July 16, 2011

Today was the annual “Girls Just Wanna Run” 5K, the largest women’s only 5K in the state of Missouri.  Since I’m obviously not running, but Ceecee is, I volunteer to be one of the traffic control people out on the course.

This year, there were expected to be close to 1000 participants.  I didn’t count them as they came by, of course, but it was pretty impressive to watch that sea of women flooding out of the park and onto the streets.

Last year, we were separated during the race, but Ceecee still gave me a high five as she came by, although it was very awkward after the race.  This year is as different as night is from day and we were extremely glad to be a couple throughout the entire event.

For me, there was no hoping that she would spend any time with me afterward, or having to say goodbye again when it was over.  I didn’t have to worry about our future because we are as committed to each other as any two newlyweds.

Tonight is date night and then we only have a few days to make preparations before flying out to California!

Day 334 and Counting… More Ceremony Plans

Posted: August 2, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Friday, July 8, 2011

Planning continues for our ceremony.  We’ve picked out some songs we want played and worked on a few of the other details.  I asked my friend Joe if he would play and sing “Marry Me,’ by Train, but he said the guy’s range was way too high and he could never pull it off.

We decided we can just play recordings and picked up a few cd’s.  One of them is by Brandi Carlile, who we had only heard of because of church.

Around Easter, they did the song “The Story,” which was played at the end of the movie, “The Lucky One.”  When they sang it in church, we were amazed by the lyrics and my wife immediately leaned over to me and said, “I want this song for our ceremony.”

We found out that a bridezilla has booked the entire building at Nathaniel Greene Park on the day of our ceremony for her own wedding, so we’re looking for plan B.  I’ve always only envisioned having it there, but we’ll figure something out.

My friends Joe and Kevin are both going to speak, as is our daughter, Angie. We’re not going to have a preacher because we’re already legally married and we don’t know anyone in that capacity who knows us well enough to really be part of this.  We’re also going to write our own vows and say them to each other.  I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to say, but I’m not worried about it.  It’s not a matter of not being able to think of anything.  It’s a matter of wanting to say way too much and needing to get it down to what’s really important.

Day 329 and Counting… Restoring The Hill

Posted: July 30, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, July 3, 2011

This was supposed to be just a fun weekend in St. Louis with family and friends, but it turned out to have a powerful restoration right at the beginning of it.  One that I didn’t even know we needed until yesterday morning.

We were heading up the interstate Saturday morning and would be getting to St. Louis around lunch time.  We were going to have lunch as a couple before meeting everyone else there later that afternoon.  We were talking about where we wanted to go to eat.

As we talked, I realized that there was one place on The Hill (St. Louis’ Italian community) that I had a bad association with, Mama Campisi’s.  That was the place where Ceecee had gone with my sister when they went to St. Louis without me.

I hadn’t known it at the time, but I realized later that my wife was going to test out leaving me.  It seemed that now, I still would try to avoid that restaurant and I didn’t want there to be any place on The Hill that bothered me, so I told her how I was feeling.

She immediately agreed that we should go there together, then, when we got to town.  We did, and we had an amazing time.  It was slow, and the waitress took extra time with us and we even got to share our story with her.  I had tears in my eyes when we left, but they were healing tears.

Day 322 and Counting… Restoring Eureka Springs

Posted: July 25, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, June 26, 2011

Yesterday was one of the most important days on the restoration tour.

Friday was pretty significant as well, but in a different way.  Our 80’s date was a lot of fun, but was also somewhat painful, as it brought out a lot of memories and feelings that neither of us really wanted to be part of our night out.  Even so, it was good and I’m glad we did it.

Yesterday, we restored Eureka Springs, though.  That was huge.

We hadn’t known about Eureka Springs for that long before all of our problems really became a threat to our marriage.  We had “discovered” it after years of people telling us how wonderful it was, but us just thinking that it was in Arkansas, so how great could it be?

When we finally went, we fell completely in love with it and it became sort of a magical getaway place for us.  It was also the place we went for a make-up weekend after I came clean about what had been going on with me during the time that I felt like our marriage was maybe no longer going to work.

It was where I got Ceecee to go with me prior to our separation last year, when I thought for sure that if we could go to that place and spend a day together, that she would realize that we needed to stay together and work things out.  She didn’t, and that day in particular has haunted me ever since.

No more, though.

Yesterday we went back as a happily married and in love couple and experienced that beauty of that place the way we had before and always should have.  We went to all our favorite spots, enjoyed all the feelings that came with it, and exorcised those memories from last year.  It was one of the last major stops on the tour, and we’ve only got a little more than  month to go!

Day 320 and Counting… Hospital or Thrill

Posted: July 23, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Friday, June 24, 2011

This morning, we decided to ride from our loft out to the Wilson’s Creek Battlefield where we used to train.  It’s in between Springfield and Republic and our phone gps system got us completely lost.  We eventually go there, but we certainly took the long way.

On the way back, we saw some really cool places and got into some pretty good hills out on the country roads.  One in particular, on the way down, was a “hospital or thrill” hill.

I don’t’ like to ride the brake going down steep hills and I know that if a dog or other small animal gets in front of the bike, or anything goes wrong, I’m going to the hospital.  It isn’t wise, but I love it.  It’s part of the thrill of road cycling, and I don’t want it any other way.

I have no idea how long the ride ended up being, but it was a good one to train for the Tour De Cox, which is only about 6 weeks away.

Tonight, I’m taking my wife on an 80’s date.  We’re both 80’s high school graduates and some of the baggage from the past has contributed to some of our problems when we separated, so we’re going to restore the 80’s tonight,

First we’re going to 1984, a video arcade downtown that’s full of nothing but old vintage video games like Pacman, Frogger, Asteroids, etc.  Then we’re going to Branson to watch an 80’s cover band who wears wigs and dresses up in all the crazy stuff bands used to wear back then.

Day 317 and Counting… Planning for our Ceremony

Posted: July 18, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Things are in full swing for the culmination of the restoration tour.  As we count down to 365 days, or one full year of restoration, pieces are starting to fall into place.

I’ve known since August 7th of last year that we would spend a year restoring our marriage, then ride the Tour de Cox and hold a ceremony in which we would renew our vows on August 6 of this year.  To that end, we’ve talked, loved, visited, revisited, and trained, all with the goal of healing the past hurts and building a strong and brighter future.

What hasn’t been so sure is what that ceremony is exactly going to look like.  It’s been more a vague concept than anything actually planned until more recently.  I’ve known that it would happen, but the how, when, where, etc. was kind of left up to chance.

That’s not like me at all.  I’m a planner who wants to know all the details of a thing before I take it on.  In this case, it was all part of the vision God gave me and I’ve just known that it would come together and that it would be beautiful.

Over the weekend, Ceecee and I were at Nathaniel Greene Park.  It’s a large area in south Springfield and the south creek trail, where we often run and cycle, runs right through it.

We went around to the back side of the artificial lake, where we’ve never been, and discovered some small, secluded playgrounds back there.  One has a teeter totter that’s made like a dragonfly.  Another has cement tables and chairs that are painted like bright, exotic mushrooms.  This is where we were sitting when the inspiration hit.

I made the comment that it felt like we were sitting in wonderland.  Ceecee immediately picked up on the idea and said that maybe we could have a Mad Hatter’s tea party theme for our ceremony.  I quickly agreed and we began scoping out the park for more ideas.

We also went to a consignment dress store downtown she could shop for an “Alice” dress to wear.  We found a few ideas and I have some thoughts about dressing up as the Mad Hatter, as well.

Today is the official first day of summer, although we’ve been celebrating the summer of restoration since June 1.  Yesterday we went to the Kansas City Zoo and to a tapas bar with Rachel and her boyfriend Ryan and had a great time.  Ceecee said she “felt whole.”

Tonight, we’re having Kevin, “the marriage guy,” and his wife over for dinner.  I’m going to ask Kevin if he will be part of our ceremony.  I’d like him to speak a few words, especially as related to the advice he gave me and the way he helped support us while we were separated.

Day 300 and Counting… Restoring the Medical Mile and 5K

Posted: June 27, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, June 4, 2011

What a good idea we had at art walk last night!

We haven’t really done a lot of planning for our vow renewal ceremony, but we know we want it to be fun, casual, and only include some family and a very few close friends – those who have stood by us and would really understand what this means. Last night at art walk, they were giving out free samples of cake pops and they had them in a bunch of different fun flavors and colors. We both thought they would be perfect to serve instead of a cake at our ceremony, so we’re going to look into pricing and flavors!

This morning, Ceecee ran the medical Mile and 5K, just like last year.  Well, other than her getting second place in the mile in her age group for the second year in a row, it was nothing like last year.

Last year, our marriage was going down the drain and she was making plans for a life without me.  This year, we were together and very much in each other’s hearts and minds.  This is just one of many restorations to come this summer!

Later today, we’re going to my Dad’s to celebrate his 81st birthday.  Hard to believe we’re 300 days into the restoration tour.  It’s all seeming to happen so fast now, but I’m making sure to document and savor it as much as possible while it happens.

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