Archive for the ‘Love and Marriage’ Category

Day 277 and Counting… Restoring Ceecee’s Birthday

Posted: June 11, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Friday, May 13, 2011

Ceecee’s birthday had to be epic this year.  I mean, it absolutely HAD to!

I keep thinking about last year’s birthday, when I took Ceecee to Old Chicago and had the kids meet us there with gifts, even though she had insisted we weren’t celebrating.  She was turning 39 then and had gone on about not being old and going to run a marathon to prove she wasn’t.

That was around the time we were splitting up and I was trying to hold things together and understand what was happening.  After we left Old Chicago, I had surprised her with a road bicycle, but it had been a difficult and painful birthday all around.

This year, we’re back together, and I went all out to restore her birthday and create new, happy memories to replace those ones.

My wife is a kid at heart, so i decided to give her a princess birthday.  We both really hate those “over the hill” 40th birthdays and I certainly wasn’t going to use the “you’re getting old” theme, so I went the complete opposite way.

I bought princess wrapping paper, silly bands, and little girl party favors.  I gave her gifts throughout the day, filled her car with pink balloons, and organized a silly little party at our downtown cupcake shop with a few friends.  I also gave her a necklace to match her ring and the bracelet she got for Mother’s Day.

It was a beautiful day of restoration and a lot of fun to plan and be part of, and she loved it.  The best part about it for me was when she said that she could really tell that I knew her well enough and had thought about it enough to understand what she would want and how special that made it for her.

Day 272 and Counting… Restoring Mother’s Day

Posted: June 6, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Today being Mother’s Day is another important step on the restoration tour.  Not that Ceecee is my mother, of course, but she is the mother of our children and I’ve always tried to honor her on Mother’s Day and make it special for her.

Being empty nesters now means no kids to get up and get ready, so I made Ceecee breakfast in bed and just let her lounge around for the morning.  Last year’s Mother’s Day was far from being a celebration, so this is another stop on the tour and it’s important to make the day special and meaningful.

Our oldest daughter Angie – on behalf of the kids, although it was really her – came by today and gave her a bracelet to match the ring I got her for our anniversary last year.  I helped her pick it out and we had it all planned, and it was really a nice way to top off a terrific day!

Day 271 and Counting… Restoring the May Day 5K

Posted: June 5, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, May 7, 2011

Last year, my wife ran the May Day 5K in Republic, MO, while I watched, cheered, and agonized over the state of our marriage.  I wasn’t in running shape at the time, but I had been doing the couch to 5K program and I did run the 1 mile fun run.

Today, we both ran the May Day 5K as part of the restoration tour.

Last year at this time, I could only wonder why my wife had decided we were through.  I still had hope on the day of last year’s race, but things had to get much worse before they got better.

Today, it wasn’t our times or whether we placed (we didn’t) that mattered.  It was that we were together, in love, and committed to restoring our marriage.

That’s the goal of this year of restoration.  It’s to replace the painful memories with new, happy ones.  It’s to heal the hurts we caused each other and repair the damage of our past mistakes by creating a new present that will become our new future.

Day 265 and Counting… Early Birthday Pizza!

Posted: June 4, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, May 1, 2011

We didn’t waste any time on Ceecee’s free birthday pizza this year!

If you belong to Old Chicago’s World Beer Tour, they send you an email every year with a code for a free pizza for your birthday.  It’s good for the entire month that your birthday falls in and it’s not a “buy one, get one” or anything like that.  It’s just a free pizza. and even though Ceecee’s birthday isn’t for almost 2 more weeks, we went today!

Yesterday was 9 months since “the phone call” and tomorrow will be 9 months back together.  Only about three months left on the restoration tour, and then the Tour de Cox and our vow renewal ceremony.  Everything has changed in these 9 months and I find it so hard to fathom that two people who are as happy and in love as we are ever let ourselves get so lost that we thought our marriage was over.

Day 264 and counting… A Day in Jayhawk Country

Posted: June 2, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, April 30, 2011

We spent the day in Jayhawk country today.  Rachel, the daughter that my wife gave up for adoption and who recently came into our lives, lives in Lawrence, KS and is a student at KU.

Today, we drove up there and spent the day getting to know her a little better and seeing where she lives and the places that are a part of her life.  Lawrence is a very cool college town and we had a great day walking and driving around, seeing the sights, and catching up on the last 20 years.

I’m so glad that this is all happening after we fixed our marriage, not while we were going through our mess.

Day 258 and Counting… Our First Grandchild

Posted: May 28, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, April 24, 2011

Last night, we became Grandparents.

It definitely wasn’t the way we’d have planned it.  It’s not our oldest, who has been married for a while now.  It was the youngest, who is still in high school.

She called and told me she was pregnant around the time we got back together.  I haven’t pretended to be happy about it, but it’s important that we be in the baby’s life regardless of the circumstances.

He was born last night in the same hospital his mother was born in, and they named him Carter.  My wife made a baby blanket and we sent it, but we didn’t go out there to western Kansas for the birth.

Day 251 and Counting… A Late Christmas Present?

Posted: May 20, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Today, Ceecee finally “got” one of her “12 Days” gifts from last Christmas.

It wasn’t given late, it was actually just given way early.  It was two tickets to the musical, “Chicago,” which is probably my wife’s favorite.  She loves the movie and the soundtrack, but had never seen it performed in the theater until today.

I bought the tickets last Christmas because there was no way I was going to take a chance on them selling out.  That’s happened to us before, and this one is too important to her to risk it.

We went to a matinée show this afternoon, then I bought stuff to make a seafood dinner not too much different from what we had for Valentine’s.  I figured it worked then, so don’t fix what’s not broken, right?  Life is too good right now!

Day 249 and Counting… Being a Kid Again

Posted: May 19, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Friday, April 15, 2011

 

Yesterday was an even more stressful day than usual for Ceecee at work.  They tend to get that way the closer to the end of the school year it gets.

I knew she needed something to pick her up and I came up with an idea as the day went on.  She’s a kid at heart, so I decided to let her get out of her “grown-up” responsibilities and just let her be a “kid” for a while.

During my free period on the afternoon, I ran over to the dollar store and picked up some sidewalk chalk, bubbles, and a coloring book and crayons.

After work, we went to this little hole in the wall place downtown that has the best greasy sandwiches in town (yes, we’re not supposed to be eating that stuff) and got orders to go.  then we walked to a nearby park where I gave her the things I bought and let her “play.”

The park is adjacent to the local Double A baseball team’s stadium and we saw that they were getting ready to have a game, so we walked over and bought tickets, purely on spontaneity.  It was a great afternoon and evening of fun, and it just came out of loving her and knowing her so well.  It was simple and inexpensive, but it made memories and reinforced my love and the idea that I will always be there for her.

Day 247 and Counting… Employment Changes Coming?

Posted: May 17, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Hard to believe I’m still at Macy’s.  This was a “summer job” that I took in July of last year while Ceecee and I were separated.

It wasn’t that I needed the money, it was that I needed to show her that I was committed to doing whatever it took to provide and be a leader in making sure she could be secure if we got back together.  It turned out to be a very important step, but I never planned on keeping it for this long.

Ceecee is looking to make a change in her employment, too.  She’s been working as a paraprofessional at the same school where I teach.

She works with the behavior disorder students and it’s a really tough job.  They are hiring a full-time library aide for next year and she has applied for it, so we’re hoping.  As much as she loves books and reading, it would be the ideal job for her.

 

Day 244 and Counting… Training and Pampering

Posted: May 12, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, April 10, 2011

Took our bikes down the South Creek Trail today and enjoyed the nice weather in the early part of the day.  This is one of the places where we go to train and it’s a pretty ride and a great place to run.  We also brought a picnic in backpacks so we can eat in the park after our ride.

Later today and tonight, some severe weather is supposed to move in and my wife especially still gets quite scared when there is even a chance of tornadoes.  I know this, so I got us some movies and some foot cream and I’m going to set her up in comfort for some pampering tonight to help her relax and keep her mind off the weather.

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