Posts Tagged ‘fitness’

Day 8 and Counting… The Triathlon

Posted: September 20, 2012 in Love and Marriage
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Ceecee was angry this morning before I left. She said it was because she had really wanted to be in the triathlon and she’s upset that she can’t be. She went off to run 17 miles with her group while I headed back to Republic.

The atmosphere at the Tiger tri was really amazing. It was extremely well put on and was a great experience. The crazy thing is that my worst fear was having a flat tire and I did. I even went to a bike shop and bought new tubes yesterday as an extra precaution, but about 11 miles into the bike race, my front tire was gone.

I’m not good enough at changing flats to do it quickly and I was only about a mile from the transition area so I just got off and ran my bike in. I was so disappointed because I felt like I had been doing pretty well up to that point, but then I was really tired during the run. I actually struggled with some doubt as to whether I was going to make it as the run went on, but I kept thinking of my wife and praying for strength.

Crossing the finish line was indescribable. It was really hot and they had people with cold, soaking wet towels who literally took hold of us as we came in, put one of these towels on us and put drinks into our hands. I was a bit disoriented from the heat and from being so exhausted, so I just kind of wandered around a little bit in the grassy area off to the side.

After a few minutes, I went inside to the restroom and then it really hit me when I came back outside. All the emotion going back for all those months just caught up to me and I just lost it and cried right there in front of everybody. Then I just wanted to get to Ceecee more than anything.

I met her at the Meyer Center about 30 minutes later with Einstein Bros. Bagels and she was pretty wiped out from her run. We both had to work today, so we got to spend a few minutes together there in the lobby and then we had to shower and change and go to our jobs.

So that was it. The triathlon is over and I did it and our marriage is back together again and better than it ever was before.

Day 7 and Counting…Friday the 13th

Posted: September 19, 2012 in Love and Marriage
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Friday, August 13, 2010

Friday the 13th indeed. I’ve had a lot of time to pray about the mess. God told me that Ceecee is handling it correctly and to let her. I was listening to a song and the chorus really spoke to me. It says, “The pressure makes us stronger, the struggle makes us hunger, the hard lessons make the difference, and the difference makes it worth it.”

It partly goes back to while we were separated. This guy from her past came back into her life and she didn’t realize at first that being friends wasn’t what he wanted. Apparently he is convinced that she should be with him and is sending her messages to that effect. I’ve asked God what to do and He says, “Love him.” I don’t know how, so I am praying that he will find the Lord and leave us alone and do what’s right. Otherwise, I’ll just stay out of it for now.

Tomorrow is the triathlon. I’m still excited about it, but it seems really anticlimactic now. Ceecee won’t be there, which is disappointing. She has a long training run with her Galloway group. She’s still getting ready for the marathon, which will be in November. It was still pretty cool going to pick up my race packet this afternoon though.

Day 4 and Counting…A Long Ride Together

Posted: September 17, 2012 in Love and Marriage
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

We’ve been talking about riding our bikes to work sometimes when school starts, so we decided to do a trial run this morning. It’s 18 miles to Ozark, and when Ceecee first said we should ride to work sometimes, I thought she was crazy. I told her, “We can’t do that. It’s too far.”

Then she pointed out that we were going to ride the Tour de Cox and I also thought about the fact that I‘ve been riding 20 mile training rides to get ready for the triathlon, so I guess it didn’t make sense to say that we couldn’t. So this morning we set off with our phones as our GPS system. We got totally lost and had to keep turning around and trying different routes. In the end, I have no idea how many miles we actually rode by the time we got to the school, but we did make it.

Once we were there, we got on a computer and looked at the map to find a way home. The ride home was great and Ceecee gave me a little fist bump at a red light when we were close to home. It’s strange, but our relationship has been amazing when we’re alone together, but things are still a little strained and weird when we’re out and about.

Day 3 and Counting…Best Birthday Ever

Posted: September 14, 2012 in Love and Marriage
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
0

Monday, August 9, 2010

Best birthday ever. By far. Don‘t know what else to say. I got the fragrance like I asked for (and it came with a cool gym bag), but Ceecee’s love and our new marriage is by far the best gift.

Day 1 and Counting…A New Beginning

Posted: September 12, 2012 in Love and Marriage
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Saturday, August 7, 2010

So, where to even start today. Wow! What a crazy, emotional whirlwind the night and this morning was.

We went to art walk with Taylor last night for a little while, but Ceecee was complaining of a stomach ache, so we kind of cut it short. She went back to the loft and I took Taylor home to Republic. On the way back, I just decided that when I got home, we needed to talk about whatever is between us. I was afraid of what it might mean, but I could tell that Ceecee is being eaten up inside and we’re both kind of on pins and needles, so things couldn’t just stay like that.

I had told her several times that whatever happened while we were separated was in the past and didn’t matter, but it was affecting the present, so apparently it did matter. I prayed and prayed, but God wouldn’t give me an answer. While I was driving, I was listening to a song that said, “We’ll cry tonight, and in the morning we are new” and I took it as a sign to go ahead and talk about it.

She was pretty sick when I got home, so I felt bad about the timing, but I just told her we needed to talk. I asked her why she called me that day and asked me to move back in and what had gone on. We talked everything out and we did cry together. We ended up talking until very late in the night, and she needed to sleep to get to feeling better, so I finally let her go to sleep and I went downstairs and just sat and looked out the window. I thought about what all she had said and I prayed for about an hour.

What she told me wasn’t as bad as my worst fears, but worse than what I had hoped for. It didn’t change anything, and I was glad for her not to have to carry it anymore, but I wished it had gone differently. Even so, I was all about making the future different.

In the morning, it was crazy. It was like we hit a reset button and just started over. Of course, we had realized last night that we wouldn’t be going to the bike race, and we slept in late. When we woke up, it was like everything was fresh and new. I can’t really explain or describe it, but it was as if our love was brand new. It was like waking up the day after the wedding.

Ceecee looked at me with eyes of love that were so vulnerable and pure that I knew everything had changed and that our future was going to be very different from our past. There was a truth and an openness in her eyes that I’ve never seen before.

For years, I’ve talked to her about her walls that she keeps part of herself and part of her heart behind. She has always dismissed my words and said, “I don’t have walls. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” This morning, those walls were gone. I don’t know how or why, but when she looked into my eyes this morning, I saw all of her and it may have been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

This afternoon, we were talking about how we felt bad about missing the Tour De Cox and a vision was birthed in me. They have it every year on about the same date (I think it’s the first Saturday in August), so I want to spend the next year restoring our marriage and have it culminate in exactly one year with some kind of a vow renewal ceremony. Just like I started restoring the areas I had neglected like her wedding ring and so forth, now I want to spend the next year continuing to go back and revisit all of the times and places that we hurt each other and let each other down and replace those with new, restorative experiences. I want to call it The Restoration Tour.

Ground Zero Day

Posted: September 11, 2012 in Love and Marriage
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Friday, August 6, 2010

Silver Dollar City was great last night! We went on Powder Keg in the very front seats in the dark and you couldn’t see what was in front of you, so we didn’t know when we were about to drop. Wow, it was awesome!

Today, the tension between us is still there, though, and rising. I talked to my therapist about it. It’s affecting me in the bedroom, because I don’t know what’s going on and there’s something between us that isn’t right. He said that’s very common and that we need to learn to trust each other again because we’ve both been hurt very deeply by everything that’s happened. He advised me to take it slow and even kind of date and “get to know” Ceecee again.

This afternoon, I was on my way to the gym with Taylor when the recruiting Sargent called and said they were giving him his test today in about 30 minutes. He was pretty freaked out. I called Ceecee and she met us there and he passed the test. They said they had a job for him, so it could be right away or not for another month or two before he got called up.

Tonight is first friday art walk downtown and we are all going to go.

Day T-1 and Counting…

Posted: September 10, 2012 in Love and Marriage
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Things have been really good and a little weird all at the same time. It’s wonderful to be back together, but we haven’t really talked much about anything and Ceecee keeps saying that she’s not proud of what she did and that she hopes that I can accept her and she never wants to hurt me. I keep telling her that it’s my fault for not loving her and being the man I promised to be, but she’s carrying some kind of guilt or something.

Of course, my mind is all over the place with what that means. I’ve never suspected her of being unfaithful because she promised me she wouldn’t be and a few weeks ago, when I said that it had been three months, she said it had been three months for her too. She also said something weird about not wanting me to be upset, but she had exchanged gifts with this guy who is one of her old boyfriends. He’s been on Facebook and I’ve always suspected that he was interested in her as more than a friend, but he lives in another state.

Anyway, I know that anything’s possible, so maybe she had some inappropriate communication with someone over the internet. Maybe she did have some kind of a fling with someone, although I can’t imagine that. I’ve prayed and asked God, but He won’t tell me anything. Whatever it is, I keep telling her it doesn’t matter. We’re together again and things will never be the way they were and that’s what’s important.

Ceecee and I have been riding our bikes together this week and that’s been really cool. We’re planning on riding in the Tour de Cox this Saturday. It’s a 62 mile ride with a 43 and a 26 mile option. I don’t know that we can do the whole 62 miles. We’ve never ridden that far before.

Tonight, we’re going to Silver Dollar City for “Moonlight Madness.” That’s when they are open at night for just a short time out of the year and you can ride the rides in the dark. Should be fun. We only have one more full week of Summer before we go back to school.

Day T-4 and Counting…

Posted: September 5, 2012 in Love and Marriage
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Monday, August 2, 2010

I never thought I’d be this excited to be up early on a Monday morning. I’m getting some of my things ready to take with me, because when I leave Macy’s today, I’m going to the loft to be with Ceecee as husband and wife again! I’m not going to bring everything yet, but I’ll have a lot of my clothes and personal things in the car.

Taylor is going to stay at the apartment for now. We are paid for another month and we’ll just hope that he goes to the Air Force soon. Whenever they are ready, they’ll give him his physical test and then they need to have a job for him, so we’ll just wait and see. We’re still taking him out running and to the gym and trying to work on getting him in shape.

Day T-6 and Counting…

Posted: August 31, 2012 in Love and Marriage
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Saturday, July 31, 2011

I don’t even know how to write this. I did the mock triathlon this morning and it was totally amazing! I completed it, but the run was so hard. I wasn’t sure I would make it and I just started saying Ceecee’s and Jesus’ names out loud and kept taking another step. I finally got to the finish line totally exhausted, but with a satisfaction as well.

I went home and about 10 minutes later my phone rang. It was Ceecee and I’ll never forget what she said. She asked me, “Are you ready to call your landlord and give him your 30 day notice and come move in with me?” I didn’t know what else to say, so I just said, “Yes.” She asked me if I was sure and I said I had wanted this and prayed for this all along, so yes I was sure.

We got off the phone and I kind of fell backward onto my bed and I just laid there and cried for about 30 minutes. It just all came out. All the emotion and fear and struggle just poured out of me and I let it. I don’t really know exactly how long it was and I didn’t care. Then, after a while, I wanted to tell Taylor. He hadn’t come out of his bedroom and I didn’t know if he was awake or not. I knocked on his door and he answered and I told him about the phone call. A few minutes after that, Joe called. I answered and told him, “I’m crying this morning, but it’s tears of joy today.”

I had to work at Macy’s and Ceecee showed up with Angie and they both seemed so happy and excited. Ceecee and I walked off by ourselves and she kept telling me that she loved me and that she was sorry. I’ll never forget the way she looked at me.

She also said she had made some mistakes and done things she wasn’t proud of. I told her it didn’t matter and that if I had been faithful and had been the man of God that she believed me to be, that none of this ever would have happened and that she would have never been put in the position she was. I told her that I took responsibility for everything that had happened and I meant it.

I asked her how she wanted all this to work and she said that she needed a day or two to clear her head and get things ready, so she wanted me to move in on Monday. That would also give us time to figure out what would happen with Taylor. He would still have 30 days in the apartment and either he would get taken into the Air Force during that time, or we would make whatever arrangements needed to be made.

Somehow I had always believed that completing the triathlon would trigger us getting back together, but I never considered the mock tri. The real triathlon is still two weeks away. I have no idea what, if anything, me crossing that finish line this morning had to do with anything, but my faith has always been strong for this and today it has all come to fulfillment. Now to get through the next two days and our marriage starts over!

Day T-7 and counting…

Posted: August 30, 2012 in Love and Marriage
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Friday, July 30, 2010

This is an amazing time! After we bought the car yesterday, we went back to her place and ate. We talked and she really opened up about a lot of things. She said she could see that I’ve really changed. She asked me if I’m still praying and I told her, “all the time.” She said to keep doing it and to get everyone I can to pray because she really wants things to work out between us. It’s the first time she’s said anything like that up to now.

I was so freaked out, I didn’t know how to react, so I just stayed calm and told her I will. When I got home, I called Joe and told him that we have the upper hand in the spiritual battle now and let’s push through in prayer and finish this thing while we can. I’m not sure he totally understood, but he said he would. I called Adam and some others and encouraged them to pray hard as well.

I picked her up this morning to swim and then we went to a coffee shop for breakfast. When we came out to the car, she said it again. She said it will take a miracle, but she really wants things to work out for us, so please pray like never before. On her Facebook today, she wrote, “is believing that God will work all things out…”

I wanted to see her again tonight, but she said no, that I need to be home resting for the mock triathlon tomorrow. She’s right. I have to get up early and the mock tri is in Republic, so I need to leave from there in the morning.

Older Entries
Newer Entries