Monday, December 6, 2010.
Just for fun, Ceecee and I observed the German tradition of St. Nicholas day. We left our shoes by the front door last night and waited to see what St. Nicholas would bring us. Switches are for the bad kids and candy is for the good ones. Apparently, we’ve both been good.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
We found out today that Taylor will be shipping out for basic training on Tuesday. He goes to Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. I can tell he’s nervous, but we really believe this will be good for him. He’s never been away from home, though.
Other than that, life is kind of slow right now. We’re looking forward to Christmas break from school. I’m still at Macy’s. It’s easy money and they don’t ask much of me, so I don’t’ mind staying on for now.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
When we got back to town last night, instead of going home, we went straight to the mall and paid for the sofa. We didn’t have a way to bring it home, but we didn’t want to take a chance. We had missed a deal on a recliner earlier by not being there that day.
I called a buddy of mine and he said we could use his truck. Meanwhile, I listed our old couch on Craigslist. A guy and his son actually came and got it last night, so it was a relief in a couple of ways. It was out of the way, so we could get the new sofa in, and it got rid of another thing with bad associations from the apartment. The more we change in the loft, the better I feel about it being ours and not the place she lived without me.
It’s a big, long sofa and we live on the second floor of a loft building. It definitely wasn’t easy getting it up the stairs and into the loft, but it gave us a little reminder of the way things had changed between us. Despite struggling with it, we were patient and spoke nicely to each other. That wouldn’t have happened in the past. It’s just all part of the tour. The big things we plan for and the little unexpected things that we haven’t even thought about until they come up.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
This morning, we caught the train back to St. Louis. Everything in Chicago was beautiful and we’re living the dream, literally. Although it would be hard to ever top that very first visit back in 2003, and we have so many great memories through the years that followed, I’d say this was our best trip ever. It’s like the old and familiar plus the new and exciting melded into one experience. We had the joy of “new love” in the context of all our past experiences and memories. It really defies description and will simply live in our hearts as a healing and restoring experience that we will always carry.
While we were on the train, we got a call from the furniture manager at Dillard’s, where Ceecee used to work. She had picked out a sofa for us while she was still there, but we were waiting for it to go on sale. Now that she doesn’t have an employee discount anymore, she told the manager that if it ever went on clearance to call us and we would buy it. We didn’t expect that call today, but I told him where we were and he said he’d mark it sold and we could come in tomorrow.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Even though we woke up just a half a block from Chicago’s “magnificent Mile,” or Michigan Avenue, we stayed away from the black Friday shopping crowds. We really have no desire to get in the middle of that, so we ate a leisurely breakfast, then did walk up and down the avenue and visit a few stores. We found a few small things that we picked up, like the Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook, but we don’t go to Chicago to shop.
This year, we went to Chicago for our usual visit, but also as part of the restoration tour. When we went last year, it was fun, but the truth that our marriage was unraveling was evident in a few different incidents. At navy pier, we were impatient and snappy, but we blamed it on being hungry and tired. There was some tension and coldness while we walked around, and we put it off as stress from all the activity.
The thing that haunted me, though – and it couldn’t simply be explained away – is that I blew up at my wife in a store for no apparent reason. I didn’t just get irritated; I lost it and made it a personal attack against her character. It was without provocation and my wife was both hurt and confused by it.
In the early years of our marriage, that kind of thing just didn’t happen. In the years since the tornado, it became more of a common occurrence. I never had any answer I was willing to give when she would want to know why or what she did. The truth was, I was very unhappy inside and didn’t know how to express any of it in a healthy way, so I took it out on her when I reached a certain level of frustration.
So, while the parade, the German market, the deep dish pizza, and all the things we love about Chicago are still here, there’s something very important about this visit. The restoration tour is about setting things right and repairing the damage. It’s about fixing what needs fixed and maintaining what was formerly neglected. This time around, we’re being very intentional about expressing our love and appreciation for each other and restoring the wonderful feelings of being together in a place we love.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
This is only the second time we’ve gone to the parade on Thanksgiving Day in Chicago. The first time, we had our son with us. We told each of the kids that when they were seniors in high school, we would take them on their own senior trip and they could choose anywhere they wanted to go, within reason. Angie and Taylor both chose Chicago.
That was last year and we stayed out near the airport. We had to take the el all the way downtown, which wasn’t the most convenient, but we ended up right at the corner of State and Washington. It was cold and it rained right up until the parade started. Ceecee and I enjoyed the parade, but Taylor was pretty miserable with the cold.
Today’s parade was so much better. We only had to walk out the door of our hotel and around the corner and we were on the parade route. The weather was perfect and we were very much in love. Afterward, we walked to the Christkindl market, the very thing that brought us to Chicago in the first place, back in 2003. We don’t really have any plans after that, so we’ll just take it as it comes.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Ceecee wrote on her Facebook, “I love waking up to your face, even on a train.” Obviously, we didn’t sleep last night, but we really only napped on the train. We took a cab ride (wow, what a nearly terrifying experience) to our hotel and were surprised that they already had a room ready and they allowed us to check in early. We’re right downtown in between Michigan Avenue and State Street, where the Thanksgiving Day parade runs.
Today, we walked around a little bit, then gave in to our tiredness and just took a nap in our room during the early afternoon. After that, we walked to Navy Pier and did something we never do. We ate at the McDonald’s in the Navy Pier food court.
I’m not really sure why Ceecee wanted to eat at McDonald’s, since that is NEVER a part of our diet, but she did. She ordered a happy meal, which isn’t at all surprising since she’s always been a kid at heart and probably always will be. While we were in there, it started to rain and hail and we were on foot, so we just hung out inside the mall at the pier until the weather got a little better.
When we left Navy Pier, we stopped at Fox and Obel, a gourmet food store owned by two foodies who are former lawyers. We always go there when we’re in Chicago. They have a bistro, a café, a grocery store, deli, bakery, and more. We got some bread, cheese, deli meat, wine and snacks to take back to the hotel. We’re staying in tonight and we want to be up early for the parade and a very full day tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Had to work at Macy’s this evening after teaching today. Tonight, we leave for St. Louis where we’ll board the train for Chicago.
We’ve always driven before, but my wife loves riding the train and she found out Amtrak has an early morning train to Chicago that’s less than $50 per person round trip – even over thanksgiving weekend! We’ll leave early Wednesday morning and come back Saturday. That way we don’t use gas, don’t have to worry about weather, and don’t have to pay for parking in Chicago.
The only decision is whether to try to nap for a few hours or just stay up and try to sleep on the train. We’ll have to leave by 1:00 AM to be at the station in time to make the 4:45 Am train. I’m probably too excited to sleep. This will be a major stop on the restoration tour and it’s going to be epic!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
For some time now, I’ve been lusting after the new Bianchi road bikes at one of the bike shops in town. Today, I finally got one. My wife has a Masi, so we both have Italian bikes now, but I’ve just always had a thing for Bianchi.
We’re having a very small thanksgiving meal with some family this weekend, because we’ll be taking the Restoration Tour to Chicago on Wednesday and be spending the actual holiday there. We also are taking part in an outreach our church does where they give you a list and you go to the store with a plastic bag and you buy all the ingredients for a traditional holiday meal except the turkey.
Everyone brings their bags to the church and another local charity provides the turkeys. Needy families are identified through the public schools and they are sent an invitation to receive an entire meal for their family.
Ceecee and I don’t usually shop at Wal-Mart because we find it very aggravating. We finally decided that instead of complaining about it, we’d just quit going and shop elsewhere. Today, we shopped at Wal-Mart for our bag from church, mainly because we could get everything in one place and they want everyone to get pretty much the same stuff, so no one feels slighted.
The store was really crowded as usual and there was little or no service from employees, as usual, but it didn’t bother me. In the past, I would become upset and very negative and my wife would often get the brunt of it, even though I never meant for that to happen. Today, I have a new peace inside and I realized that it just didn’t matter. It was pretty nice to go through the whole Wal-Mart experience and be able to keep smiling.
It’s little things like that, as well as the big things that continue to show that I’ve really changed. Not just on the outside, but on the inside, where the changes are real and permanent. Anyone can temporarily change their behavior, but that’s only an outward change. Willpower can only take you so far. Only God can truly change a heart and I’m so thankful that He has and that I let Him.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Well, we survived the short night and getting up and going to work this morning. Afterward, I had my first appointment for physical therapy on my knee. The MRI apparently was inconclusive, so the doctor sent me to a rehabilitation place. They did a bunch of strength and range of motion tests on me and now it’s really confusing.
They don’t seem to be in agreement on what the cause is or how to proceed. The doctor had told me he blamed my hips. The one guy who examined me today said I have flat feet and thinks that’s what’s causing the problem when I run. Another guy says my left leg is shorter than my right and that’s the likely problem. It’s frustrating, because back when I was 19, I had a chiropractor diagnose me with a shorter left leg and had me wear a lift inside my shoe. Since I moved away from there, other doctors have said that wasn’t true and I’ve always had chronic back problems without ever being certain why.
Anyway, we’re going to start p/t and they want me to get fitted for custom orthotics. I don’t’ really care, as long as I get better and can get back to running and doing the things I was. I’m glad not to be having surgery, but these guys don’t give me lot of confidence that they are doing more than guessing and trying things out.
The Restoration Tour 