Posts Tagged ‘heart’

Black Friday? None For Me, Thank You

Posted: November 23, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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I always have to laugh at the irony that Ceecee and I often spend “Black Friday” on Chicago’s Michigan Avenue. The so-called Magnificent Mile is probably the country’s third most famous shopping street, after New York’s 5th Avenue and Beverly Hills’ Rodeo Drive. The irony is that we have almost no interest in black Friday, and certainly none in giving up our sleep to go after “door busters” and other such sales.

The reality is, we are there to spend a holiday with each other in our favorite city, not to shop. We go for romance, food, sightseeing, and making special memories, not to stand in line in the wee hours in hopes of purchasing things that we don’t really even want. It just strikes us as funny that we usually stay in a hotel that’s either on Michigan Avenue, or within a block or two, not because it’s Michigan Avenue, but because it’s central to so many of the things we enjoy in Chicago.

While others are preparing to go to great lengths to spend lots of time and money competing to buy material possessions, we are preparing to sleep late, eat a leisurely breakfast, and then go sightseeing, stopping in at a few stores if we so desire, but with no real plan for the day. We have nothing against people trying to get a good deal, or getting a jump on their Christmas shopping. We just have an entirely different agenda, and the fact that we are often right in the very heart of some of the most intense shopping you’ll find seems almost comical.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year. I especially hope you spent time with who you love and were thankful for what you have. Whether you bought anything today or not, I hope you have much to be thankful for. Those black Friday purchases likely won’t last or bring fulfillment, but your relationships certainly may.

Day 77 and Counting… Back Home

Posted: November 20, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Monday, October 25, 2010

I had to ride my bike while Ceecee ran 12 miles this morning. I can’t run on my knee, but she’s still training for her marathon. It seems crazy now that when this all started, she was saying she was going to run a marathon to prove she isn’t old.

The game was fun yesterday. My team lost and hers won. We both cheered for our teams, but we almost wanted the other to win so that each other wouldn’t feel bad. What we have now is so good. I’ll take it over any football win anytime, anywhere.

We drove home through rain for most of the way, while listening to Jack Johnson on the CD player. The scenery was beautiful and we enjoyed every bit of it. Nine days of celebration surrounding an anniversary that almost wasn’t and now we’re back home.

Day 75 and Counting… A Beautiful Tennessee Fall Day

Posted: November 19, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, October 23, 2010

Tennessee is so beautiful at this time of year. Ceecee and I brought our bikes and took a ride through the country near my in-laws’ house this morning. The scenery was spectacular and, at one point, we rode through a shower of leaves falling from the trees alongside the road. My knee can handle cycling, just not running at this point. When we get back to Springfield, I’ll have to find a doctor and find out what’s going on, but for now, I’m thankful to be able to ride.

We made our third visit this week to an Old Chicago restaurant today. They have a club called the World Beer Tour, and you get a card that keeps track of all your purchases. There are incentives and prizes you can win and they have what they call mini-tours throughout the year. Some are holiday themed, while others revolve around major events.

Currently, they are holding the Halloween mini-tour. Normally, we don’t spend this much money on beer, but you get a free t-shirt if you complete the tour and I really wanted the shirt. We only needed one more visit, and there was an Old Chicago just minutes from my in-laws” house, so we went for lunch today.

Now remember, we’re in Tennessee for a football game, and I’m a fan of the “other team,” so I got into talking smack with our waiter, who good-naturedly gave it right back. Our last beer to complete the tour was the “manager’s choice,” so we didn’t get to order it. We just had to take whatever it was. My wife got a really cool craft beer from New England, while I got something awful in a brown paper bag. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the manager’s, but rather our Tennessee Titans fan server’s choice. Ceecee and I laughed over me “taking one for the team” and drinking it anyway.

It’s so wonderful to have found this new peace and to have rediscovered the fun in our relationship. There were so many years of tension and never knowing when one of us was going to say or do the wrong thing and the downward spiral was going to start again. The laughter had been missing for so long. I clearly remember one day very shortly before we separated when my wife asked me if I was happy and I told her honestly that I was no longer sure I even understood the concept. Looking back, I understand why she came to believe that she needed to leave. Now, I can’t be more thankful that I not only have another chance, but that we’ve both been so transformed and that we can make our future so much different from our past.

Day 73 and Counting… An Anniversary Ring

Posted: November 16, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Thursday, October 21, 2010

It’s amazing to be this blessed. Ceecee loved the ring and the flowers and posted that it was the best anniversary ever. Not bad for a casual, low-key day. I asked her if she had any idea that she was getting the ring and she said that she hoped that she was and she hadn’t forgotten about it, but didn’t want to get her hopes up in case she wasn’t. It made me feel good to be the hero who came through and did the right thing and made her hopes come true.

Tonight is date night, and we leave for Tennessee tomorrow after work. I’m kind of shocked that Macy’s actually allowed me to take all this time off. Maybe they knew that I probably would have quit and taken the time anyway if they’d said no. they know I don’t really need this job, but it has been nice to have the extra money to be able to do all these things.

Day 72 and Counting…A 14th Anniversary To Treasure!

Posted: November 15, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Wednesday, October 20

So today is our 14th anniversary and for most people, that’s not a significant one. For us, there has never been one more significant, nor will there probably ever be. Just three months ago, there was very little hope that this day would ever come. I had spent months desperately trying to repair the damage and win back the woman I loved, but who I had not known how to connect with in a meaningful way for at least a couple of years.

I’m at work and we don’t have any big plans for tonight. I ordered a pretty nice bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates to be delivered to Ceecee at work today. We’ll go out to eat tonight, but it will be pretty low-key. We went out Monday night, and last night Ceecee cooked me some of her lasagna which she only makes from scratch. We had a big time last weekend and we’re leaving for Tennessee Friday night and today just feels comfortable. There’s no pressure to make this one day any huge deal because we’ve been intentionally celebrating our love since last Friday evening.

Really, we’re just having fun. We are enjoying each other’s company and the simple joys of being in love. We each feel a deep sense of gratitude and appreciation for the fact that we’re together and we’re just kind of floating through these days. It’s like we’re under a spell and I’m sure not going to do anything to break it.

I did pull off a potentially huge surprise, though. My wife has been looking for a certain style of black onyx ring for at least two or three years now. She has talked about it and shown me different ones, but always said she hadn’t found the one she really wanted yet. Very soon after we got back together, she did find it. She came to see me at Macy’s in August and told me that they had the ring she’d been looking for downstairs in the jewelry department and that she had seen it on her way in to see me.

She told me how much it was and I pretty much acted like I wasn’t really listening to make her think there was no way she was actually getting it. In fact, I bought it the very next day and have had it hidden in a drawer at home ever since. It’s never come up again, but she’s getting it today and, as far as I know, she has absolutely no idea.

Day 69 and Counting… Our first 10K

Posted: November 12, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, October 17, 2010

When we got to Springfield this afternoon, we drove straight to Old Chicago for some football and comfort food. We hadn’t meant to leave St. Louis so early, but my knee is way more messed up than I realized.

We ate breakfast in the hotel with our costumes on, which started some interesting conversation, and we got someone to take a couple of pictures of us. Then we went to the 10K and it was really a neat experience to take in everything from serious runners who were really there to compete, to some really great and even some totally outrageous costumes. The guy who won the costume contest made a huge cage and half a praying mantis sticking up about 3 feet out of the top of it. He made fake human legs hanging over the front, and his legs were praying mantis’ legs running on the bottom. He carried that thing for the entire 6.2 miles.

About 3 miles in, my knee just started killing me. I tried to run through the pain, but I couldn’t. I told my wife to just go on ahead and not let me ruin it for her, but she just kept saying, “We’re together.” She stayed with me while I had to walk most of the last 3 miles and not only didn’t complain, but made me feel like I was the most important thing in the world to her. I jogged a little bit here and there, but never very long because of the pain. When we could see the finish line, we took each other’s hand and ran the last part together. I almost fell because it hurt so much, but I was determined that we wouldn’t walk across the finish line.

After the race, I could barely walk, so after the costume contest was over and the prizes awarded, I hobbled to the car and we went for lunch and then hit the road. It was a shame to be hurt like that, but Ceecee was so wonderful and loving that it almost didn’t matter. I was just a little worried about what the implications were and whether I would end up having to have surgery on my knee.

Day 68 and Counting… The Day Before The 10K

Posted: November 9, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Beautiful day in St. Louis today. Got here in the morning and went straight to Soulard’s, a huge farmer’s market down by the river in the French district. They serve jello shots, which in and of itself makes it probably the world’s coolest farmer’s market. Of course we went to the zoo and visited the penguins and had lunch on the Hill. The weather has been perfect, and the day has been relaxing and fun. The only thing we had to do today was pick up our race packets and shirts, but we drove up this morning so we could spend the day doing our usual “day in St. Louis” things.

We ate a long leisurely lunch outside at Guido’s and I couldn’t help thinking of the day back in July when we sat at the same table with my daughter and the tide had really begun to turn for us. That day, I was facing the fear of never being able to work things out and the upcoming school year looming before us. Today, we were as relaxed and happy as two people could be and we just basked in the spirit of love and celebration.

In the afternoon, we picked up our race packets and t-shirts. Of course, we’ll be wearing our costumes during the race. We’re staying at a Drury Inn and they have free food and drinks in the evening, so we decided to go for it. Being foodies, it was a pretty funny experience. They had hot dogs and chips, Bud Light (which was ghastly), and a lot of stuff that we normally never eat. Then we spent some time in the hot tub and indoor pool. After a while, we got overrun with kids and my wife offended somebody by calling the kids critters, but we didn’t care. It was all in fun.

Day 67 and Counting… Anniversary Week Begins!

Posted: November 8, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Friday, October 15, 2010

Our actual anniversary isn’t until Wednesday, but as of 3:00 today when we left work, anniversary week has begun! We are going all out and this is going to actually be a nine day anniversary celebration, because this is the one that was never going to be until the miracle of our restoration began taking place. It’s really almost 10 days if you count tonight, which I am.

Tomorrow we leave for St. Louis and a week from Sunday, we’ll be coming back from Tennessee. We’ve had some Cat Stevens references going back and forth on Facebook between us today. Ceecee wrote, “The wild world sent me home…where I belong,” and “You found your hard headed woman.” I wrote back, “And I know the rest of my life will be blessed.” We are the only ones who truly know how much that exchange meant, but let’s just say it did my heart a lot of good. On the one hand, I don’t really like it when she plays “wild world” in the car, because I know it represented her leaving me to go see what was out there on the wild side, but on the other hand, that CD was a gift of love that I gave her and there are some other songs on it that have become meaningful to us.

Day 66 and Counting…Opposite Sides Of The Same Coin

Posted: November 6, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Got our costumes finished today for the Halloween 10K. Not everyone runs in costume, but a lot of people do and we wanted to come up with something that would be fun and also mean something.

We’ve been talking about it off and on for a while now, but it was my wife that came up with the idea that we ended up going with. One day, just out of nowhere, she said, “Why don’t we go as opposite sides of the same coin?” I immediately loved it, because that was the phrase that my friend Adam had used months ago to describe us

We were separated and Ceecee and I had gone to art walk with Adam joining as kind of a third wheel. When I talked to him on the phone soon after and asked him if he was confused about why Ceecee and I weren’t together, he had said, “You guys are one. You’re opposite sides of the same coin.” I had told Ceecee that he had said that, but of course, we weren’t together then, so she didn’t respond and I was very pleasantly surprised to realize now that she still remembered that and still thinks about it.

This is really what the restoration tour is all about. Revisiting the same literal, physical places where things happened while we were breaking apart, and also revisiting those memories, those words that were spoken, those actions that were done that hurt each other and that we would never do now that we are in love again.

So how are we going as opposite sides of the same coin, you may wonder?, We are wearing tight black running pants or shorts with long-sleeved black shirts. We made signs that go on our backs with black on white for one and white on black for the other that say “Opposite sides of” and “the same coin.” Then we used a projector at school to trace and draw the front and back of a Missouri quarter onto cardboard cut-outs painted silver.

Day 64 and Counting… Party Crashing!

Posted: November 5, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, October 9, 2010

One of my wife’s best friends is in town today and they are spending some time together. Last night was totally unexpected and really funny and amazing.

A guy who teaches in the school where we work is in an 80’s cover band and they were playing at an outdoor party outside the Bistro Market, our downtown grocery store. We thought we’d go check it out when I got home from Macy’s, so we walked down there about 10:00.

There was a big tent set up out in the parking lot, and we could hear the band, but couldn’t tell where they were. We saw two guys taking stuff into the tent, so I went up and asked them if we could go through there to get to where the band was. They said to go ahead, so we did.

Inside the tent, there were all kinds of tables of food and drinks. We went on through and they had a stage and a dance floor set up outside on the other side of the tent. We watched the band for a little bit and kept seeing people going in and out of the tent and carrying drinks and plates of food, so I went to check it out.

I went up to a counter where a guy was making all kinds of drinks and asked him what was going on. He said to help myself to whatever I wanted, so I took a drink for me and one for Ceecee, along with some finger foods. A little while later, I went to go back in and a guy at the door stopped me and asked me if I had a lanyard. I didn’t know what he was talking about and he told me the tent was VIP’s only.

I went back and told Ceecee that apparently I wasn’t supposed to have gone in there before. The band took a break and we went over to talk to our friend and we told him what had happened. He said, “Do you need a lanyard? Take mine,” and just handed his to me. When they started playing again, I went back in the tent with the lanyard and got a plateful of food and two glasses of wine.

I’ve never been one to dance, and Ceecee and I have never danced anywhere in our entire marriage, even though I know she used to go clubbing when she was younger. Somehow, she got me out on the dance floor, though. She was amazing, how she moved out there, even after so many years. I felt a little awkward, but just went with it and did the best I could. We ended up staying and dancing until around 1 AM.

The next morning, I walked to the bistro to get something and saw that there was a sign left over from last night that said there was a $10 cover charge for people who didn’t have VIP passes. So we had just walked in for free and ended up with a VIP pass (in someone else’s name) and didn’t pay a thing for the whole night. We hadn’t intended to crash the party, but that was exactly what we did!

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