Friday, December 31, 2010
What a day for reflecting and being thankful. What a day, period. Make that, What a day, exclamation point!
It’s the last day of 2010 and I’m completely overwhelmed. First of all, we’re back home. We left a little early yesterday to race an oncoming winter storm. It was moving from west to east and we didn’t want to take a chance on getting stuck, so we headed out and beat it back to Springfield.
It caught up to us after we got here and we’re pretty much snowed in, which is just the way we like it. Our loft is right downtown, so if we need anything, we can walk down to the Bistro Market or any of the downtown eateries, but we’re warm, we have a great view, and we have everything we need.
Most importantly, we have each other, and a love that just keeps growing. It keeps getting deeper and richer and I’m treasuring every moment of it. Today Ceecee said I’m the peanut butter to her jelly. That about sums it up, I guess.
It’s new year’s eve and when this year started, I had no idea that our marriage was nearly at its end. I had pretty much been numb for so long, that I wouldn’t have known much of anything about what was going on in Ceecee’s heart or in her life. I was just going through the motions most of the time because I wasn’t healthy and didn’t have any idea what to do.
Of course, the Spring was when our separation really began. Ceecee hadn’t moved out yet, but she left me emotionally before she actually found her own place. I spent the first few months trying to figure out how to stop it all from happening and the next few months changing, getting help, and learning to love her and winning her back. By time school started, I had moved in to her place and we were gingerly putting the pieces back together.
The plan for the year we are calling the restoration tour was birthed then and it has gained momentum with each passing month. There has been so much healing that I can’t possibly even attempt to chronicle it all here. In the background, there is still pain and fear. It comes from what we went through and some things we’re still dealing with, but it becomes less important as time separates us from it all more and more and we continue to make things new.
Today has been another one of those magical days – a fairy tale. It’s the kind of day I had given up on. Here I am though, living the dream. I can’t take the credit. It was God who brought this about and Ceecee’s heart that was willing to be changed to love again that’s made this possible. This was both the worst and the best year of my life, if that makes any sense. One thing is for certain. I will never go back to the way things were.
The Restoration Tour 