Posts Tagged ‘separation’

Day 235 and Counting… Feeling The Emptiness of the Nest

Posted: April 26, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Friday, April 1, 2011

Taylor graduated from tech school yesterday.  We didn’t go down to visit, like we did when he finished basic, but it’s still kind of a big deal.  It means he’ll be leaving the US soon and heading for Korea.

Today, my wife was taken by surprise when a group from the army ran by our parking lot and it brought her to tears thinking about Taylor.  That was no April fool’s gag, it really hit her hard.  They say it’s much harder on Moms that it is on Dads and I suppose that’s true.

It’s also true that a lot of marriages struggle when the nest becomes empty.  I don’t know how much of a factor that was in our situation, but it definitely couldn’t have helped.  I’m so thankful to be where we are now.

Day 221 and Counting… Moving Day!

Posted: April 19, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Friday, March 18, 2011(Day 221)

If you’re going to move, this is the way to do it.  

It’s Spring Break this week and we already brought over a lot of our clothes and much of the fragile and awkward stuff in the car yesterday.  My wife is amazing when it comes to figuring out where everything goes and getting everything unpacked and put up.  

This morning, we picked up the truck and had a few friends (who we bribed with pizza, of course) show up to help.  We had everything moved by about 11:00 when my parents showed up with pizza for everyone.  Soon after, Ceecee had everything unpacked and you truly couldn’t tell that we had just moved in that morning.  

When I took the truck back mid-afternoon, I stopped at the wine store and picked up a bottle of Champagne (as in real Champagne from France, not the fake California stuff).  I also got some strawberries, and you know where this is going….

The day Ceecee left me, when she moved into the old loft, she wanted Champagne and strawberries to celebrate with.  I didn’t understand that then, and I probably never will, but the fact that she wants to share them with me tonight, on the first night living in our new place means more than I can say.

We’re also going to take in our first opera tonight at a downtown theater about a block from our new loft.  This is the life we’ve dreamed of!

Day 220 and Counting… The Day Before Moving Day

Posted: April 16, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Thursday, March 17, 2011

What a beautiful time of restoration this is.

This morning, Ceecee and I had breakfast at Gailey’s, an old fashioned diner downtown right near our new loft.  It’s become a special place for us and symbolic of our “new” marriage.

Afterward, we went over to City Utilities to get our service turned on at the new loft.  It sounds silly, I suppose, but it turned out to be the highlight of my day.

See, when we separated, I was there in City Utilities when she got service in only her name on the old loft, the one where she lived by herself before I moved back in.  I stood by while she said she was the only one who would be living there and that there was no one else on the account.

Today, my heart nearly burst when I stood with her at the same counter and I heard her say, “my husband,” when the lady asked her if anyone else would be living in the new place.

Once we were done there, we picked up the keys to the new place and started taking a couple of car loads of fragile stuff over.  Tomorrow morning, we get the truck and do the main moving.

I don’t like moving, but this is one move I’m truly looking forward to!

Day 215 and Counting… Remembering the Tornado

Posted: April 5, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, March 12, 2011

Five years ago today, the tornado that changed our lives ripped through our house on a Sunday night outside Republic, Missouri.  We were asleep just moments before it hit, and with no sirens to warn us, we would never have known it was coming if it weren’t for God.

He woke me up and, while I didn’t hear any audible voice speaking to me, somehow I knew that a tornado was about to hit us.  I woke my wife and we crawled on the floor into the hallway, calling for our two teenage kids.

We told them to get down and we got on top of them as it sounded like the house exploded.  Suddenly, I could feel wind, rain, and swirling objects hitting my back.  In those moments, which actually were probably only a matter of seconds, I believed that I was going to die.

I had two prevailing thoughts: I hope it doesn’t hurt and I’ll never see my wife again.

Our daughter didn’t know that Taylor had woken up and was with me and she was screaming, “Where’s Taylor?”  My wife was thinking the same thing I was about whether we would die and hoping that, if we did, it would be quick and painless.  Taylor was quiet and had no outward reaction.

Almost immediately, faith began to rise up in me and I began to pray aloud and then to thank God for saving us.  My wife also began to thank Him, saying, “He saved us!” as we realized that the tornado had gone through and we were still there.  The fact that we were also now homeless was secondary to the fact that we were, miraculously, unharmed.

Little did I know then, that this event would affect our lives so deeply.  While it was a great testimony of God’s protection, I also developed PTSD and didn’t do anything to treat or take care of it, even after I was made aware of it.

I don’t know if he even knew today was the anniversary, but a friend of mine wrote to me on Facebook today asking about that house.

Tonight, we have special plans that I’ll write about next time.  Last night, Ceecee and I went to the little theater to see, “Thoroughly Modern Millie.”  It was light and fun, and we had a great time.  I’m really glad we’re finally living the life that we used to only talk about!

Day 213 and Counting… Looking Forward To Spring Break

Posted: April 1, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Really glad Spring break is next week!  This school year has been exhausting!

Last year,  Ceecee and I went to a resort in Branson over Spring break with Taylor and one of his friends.  It was fun, but not the way it should have been.  It was almost immediately after we got back home that our marriage fell apart and we split up.

That being the case, Spring break isn’t officially on the docket for restoration, but we certainly plan on enjoying our time off work this year a LOT more than we did last year!  Now our hearts are one, so our thoughts and desires will be on spending a lot of fun and romantic time together.  We will also be getting ready to move into our new loft, so it will be busy and we won’t be taking a trip away anywhere.

Day 204 and Counting… Finding a New Loft!

Posted: March 26, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Sometimes, when things happen, they happen quickly.  Today was one of those days.

For some time now, I’ve been hoping that maybe Ceecee would be willing to look for a different place to live.  Where we are now is a great place in many ways, don’t get me wrong. 

We picked it out together, even though we were splitting up at the time, and it has a really cool floor plan and a great view.  Ceecee has done a great job of decorating and setting it up to be very stylish, and it has her personality all over it.

On the other hand, the walls are paper thin and a lot of the people who live here party at night and sleep during the day, so that doesn’t work well.  Beyond that, there’s just the constant reminder of the painful part of our recent past, and I’d really like to just start fresh in a place that we picked out to share together and has always just been ours.

We’ve looked at a few lofts, and even started to fill out an application on one, but never really felt like any of them were exactly what we wanted.  Today, I was browsing online and found out that one of the more desirable properties that rarely has available units had one come up. 

I made an appointment to see it, and while we were there, Ceecee whispered to me, “I think this is the one!”  I took the application, filled it out on the spot and went straight to the office and turned it in.  It’s going to be ours!

Day 202 and Counting… A Long Ride and A Prostitution Bust

Posted: March 23, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Took a 30 mile ride on my “new” Bianchi road bike with Ceecee this morning.  I actually bought it a few months ago, but have barely ridden it over the winter.  We had a great time, but part of it didn’t quite go the way we planned.  

We rode from our loft out to the trailhead for the Frisco Line Trail, which is about 7 miles, and we planned to take the trail for an indefinite distance from there.  This is the trail where Ceecee ran the half marathon right before our marriage fell apart

According to the map, it runs for about 43 miles total and we were just going to ride until we were ready to turn around.  What we didn’t realize is that it turns to gravel after 8 miles.  Since we were on road bikes, we turned around there.

Even so, it was a fun ride and it was by far the longest I’ve gone on my Bianchi since I bought it.  

On a much funnier note, we were checking out at a store later and saw on the front of the newspaper that a prostitution ring was apparently busted in the building right across the street from our loft.  Who knew?

Day 184 and Counting…Snow, Snow, And More Snow!

Posted: March 5, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

We’ve lived in the Missouri Ozarks for about five and a half years now, and we’ve never had a winter with as much snow as this one.  We thought when we moved here from Western Kansas that we would be moving to a place with nicer and less extreme weather.  Yeah.

A tornado destroys our house in March of ‘06.  An ice storm leaves us without power or running water for 23 days in January of ‘07.  Now, in the winter of the restoration tour, we’re having blizzards and snowstorms every other week, it seems.  

The difference is, those other storms were a bad thing for us and our marriage.  They interrupted and changed our lives in negative ways and I especially didn’t handle them well.  Where they seemed to be a curse to us, these snowstorms have been a blessing.  

Yes, we are home yet again experiencing ANOTHER snow day!  

These days have not been filled with the hassle of shoveling driveways and walks, dealing with the lack of electricity, or wondering where we are going to live or what we are going to do.  Instead, they’ve been joyous days of bonus time to spend together, cooking, playing, trying new things, and nurturing our ever growing trust and intimacy.

Day 174 and Counting…Restoring St. Louis

Posted: February 25, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, January 30, 2011

The restoration trip to St. Louis has been more than I even hoped for.  Ceecee has been so amazingly sweet and loving and has just said and done everything right to make this an unforgettable and tremendously healing weekend.

When we set out in the car yesterday morning, we had to talk a little bit about we uncovered last Monday, which was OK, but I didn’t want to put a damper on the trip before we even started.  It’s just that we’ve learned through all of this not to let things sit and stew and become a problem later.  We’ve learned that you just say it and talk about it, but you do it in a loving way that puts the marriage first and any personal agendas to the side.

As we approached St. Louis, we had talked about where we would go and what we would do, but there was something that kept bothering me, so right before we got to town, I just asked my wife if she minded if I changed the agenda a little bit.  I told her what I was thinking and feeling, and what I wanted to do and she was more than fine with it.  She said that if it was important to me than we should definitely do it.

That’s how this weekend and how our “new” love has gone.  We communicate, we’re honest and open, and we put each other first.  I’m not sure why we needed to go through so much pain and heartbreak to get here, or even if we needed to, but I’ll never stop being thankful for what we have now.  I’ll also never stop trying to build what we have now into a house that will stand up to the test of time and the storms of life.

Day 171 and Counting…Back On Our Bikes

Posted: February 20, 2013 in Love and Marriage
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Thursday, January 27, 2011

The weather was nice enough to take our bikes out today, so we got in 12 miles after work.  Well, let me qualify that.  The weather was nice enough FOR US to take our bikes out.  Of course there are cyclists who ride year round regardless of weather, but we are not those cyclists.  We’re wimps when it comes to riding in the cold.

Anyway, it was a nice ride and the first time we’ve been on two wheels in a while.  This weekend, we’re taking an unscheduled restoration trip to St. Louis.  After what went down  Monday, we need to get to our city and fix some hurts and disappointments.  I’m a little scared of what fallout there might still be, but we’re also really committed to seeing ourselves healed, whole, and as strong as can be, so I suspect this is going to be a blessing on multiple levels.

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