Thursday, June 24, 2010
Yesterday, I wrote a long letter where I poured my heart out to Ceecee. I told her how sorry I was and how I realized how much I had hurt her and let her down. I talked about our love and how, just like her ring, it has been damaged, but it can be stronger than ever and no less beautiful. I put it on her pillow with her ring and just let her find it.
She read the letter and didn’t have any reaction at all. None. I mean, she didn’t do or say anything. I can’t believe it. I knew that her heart was hardened to me, but not this much. I thought for sure she would melt and things would change. I’ve always been able to give her really great gifts and come up with really big surprises. That’s just been part of our marriage.
We had lunch together at the mall today while she was on her break from Dillard’s. Tomorrow she gets the keys to her loft and life as I’ve known it will be over. She’s really stressed and I keep trying to tell her it doesn’t have to be like this, but it doesn’t do any good. In fact, the more I say those kinds of things, the more insistent she becomes that she has to go through with this.
She doesn’t have a car (we only have one and I’m keeping it because I’ll still be living in Republic with Taylor and she’ll be downtown). She plans on using her bike and the bus for transportation, but her bike hasn’t come in yet. The order got messed up because they didn’t know what color she wanted, so she’s been waiting all this time. It’s supposed to be in tomorrow.