Posts Tagged ‘Healing’

Day 72 and Counting…A 14th Anniversary To Treasure!

Posted: November 15, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Wednesday, October 20

So today is our 14th anniversary and for most people, that’s not a significant one. For us, there has never been one more significant, nor will there probably ever be. Just three months ago, there was very little hope that this day would ever come. I had spent months desperately trying to repair the damage and win back the woman I loved, but who I had not known how to connect with in a meaningful way for at least a couple of years.

I’m at work and we don’t have any big plans for tonight. I ordered a pretty nice bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates to be delivered to Ceecee at work today. We’ll go out to eat tonight, but it will be pretty low-key. We went out Monday night, and last night Ceecee cooked me some of her lasagna which she only makes from scratch. We had a big time last weekend and we’re leaving for Tennessee Friday night and today just feels comfortable. There’s no pressure to make this one day any huge deal because we’ve been intentionally celebrating our love since last Friday evening.

Really, we’re just having fun. We are enjoying each other’s company and the simple joys of being in love. We each feel a deep sense of gratitude and appreciation for the fact that we’re together and we’re just kind of floating through these days. It’s like we’re under a spell and I’m sure not going to do anything to break it.

I did pull off a potentially huge surprise, though. My wife has been looking for a certain style of black onyx ring for at least two or three years now. She has talked about it and shown me different ones, but always said she hadn’t found the one she really wanted yet. Very soon after we got back together, she did find it. She came to see me at Macy’s in August and told me that they had the ring she’d been looking for downstairs in the jewelry department and that she had seen it on her way in to see me.

She told me how much it was and I pretty much acted like I wasn’t really listening to make her think there was no way she was actually getting it. In fact, I bought it the very next day and have had it hidden in a drawer at home ever since. It’s never come up again, but she’s getting it today and, as far as I know, she has absolutely no idea.

Day 69 and Counting… Our first 10K

Posted: November 12, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, October 17, 2010

When we got to Springfield this afternoon, we drove straight to Old Chicago for some football and comfort food. We hadn’t meant to leave St. Louis so early, but my knee is way more messed up than I realized.

We ate breakfast in the hotel with our costumes on, which started some interesting conversation, and we got someone to take a couple of pictures of us. Then we went to the 10K and it was really a neat experience to take in everything from serious runners who were really there to compete, to some really great and even some totally outrageous costumes. The guy who won the costume contest made a huge cage and half a praying mantis sticking up about 3 feet out of the top of it. He made fake human legs hanging over the front, and his legs were praying mantis’ legs running on the bottom. He carried that thing for the entire 6.2 miles.

About 3 miles in, my knee just started killing me. I tried to run through the pain, but I couldn’t. I told my wife to just go on ahead and not let me ruin it for her, but she just kept saying, “We’re together.” She stayed with me while I had to walk most of the last 3 miles and not only didn’t complain, but made me feel like I was the most important thing in the world to her. I jogged a little bit here and there, but never very long because of the pain. When we could see the finish line, we took each other’s hand and ran the last part together. I almost fell because it hurt so much, but I was determined that we wouldn’t walk across the finish line.

After the race, I could barely walk, so after the costume contest was over and the prizes awarded, I hobbled to the car and we went for lunch and then hit the road. It was a shame to be hurt like that, but Ceecee was so wonderful and loving that it almost didn’t matter. I was just a little worried about what the implications were and whether I would end up having to have surgery on my knee.

Day 68 and Counting… The Day Before The 10K

Posted: November 9, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Beautiful day in St. Louis today. Got here in the morning and went straight to Soulard’s, a huge farmer’s market down by the river in the French district. They serve jello shots, which in and of itself makes it probably the world’s coolest farmer’s market. Of course we went to the zoo and visited the penguins and had lunch on the Hill. The weather has been perfect, and the day has been relaxing and fun. The only thing we had to do today was pick up our race packets and shirts, but we drove up this morning so we could spend the day doing our usual “day in St. Louis” things.

We ate a long leisurely lunch outside at Guido’s and I couldn’t help thinking of the day back in July when we sat at the same table with my daughter and the tide had really begun to turn for us. That day, I was facing the fear of never being able to work things out and the upcoming school year looming before us. Today, we were as relaxed and happy as two people could be and we just basked in the spirit of love and celebration.

In the afternoon, we picked up our race packets and t-shirts. Of course, we’ll be wearing our costumes during the race. We’re staying at a Drury Inn and they have free food and drinks in the evening, so we decided to go for it. Being foodies, it was a pretty funny experience. They had hot dogs and chips, Bud Light (which was ghastly), and a lot of stuff that we normally never eat. Then we spent some time in the hot tub and indoor pool. After a while, we got overrun with kids and my wife offended somebody by calling the kids critters, but we didn’t care. It was all in fun.

Day 67 and Counting… Anniversary Week Begins!

Posted: November 8, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Friday, October 15, 2010

Our actual anniversary isn’t until Wednesday, but as of 3:00 today when we left work, anniversary week has begun! We are going all out and this is going to actually be a nine day anniversary celebration, because this is the one that was never going to be until the miracle of our restoration began taking place. It’s really almost 10 days if you count tonight, which I am.

Tomorrow we leave for St. Louis and a week from Sunday, we’ll be coming back from Tennessee. We’ve had some Cat Stevens references going back and forth on Facebook between us today. Ceecee wrote, “The wild world sent me home…where I belong,” and “You found your hard headed woman.” I wrote back, “And I know the rest of my life will be blessed.” We are the only ones who truly know how much that exchange meant, but let’s just say it did my heart a lot of good. On the one hand, I don’t really like it when she plays “wild world” in the car, because I know it represented her leaving me to go see what was out there on the wild side, but on the other hand, that CD was a gift of love that I gave her and there are some other songs on it that have become meaningful to us.

Day 66 and Counting…Opposite Sides Of The Same Coin

Posted: November 6, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Got our costumes finished today for the Halloween 10K. Not everyone runs in costume, but a lot of people do and we wanted to come up with something that would be fun and also mean something.

We’ve been talking about it off and on for a while now, but it was my wife that came up with the idea that we ended up going with. One day, just out of nowhere, she said, “Why don’t we go as opposite sides of the same coin?” I immediately loved it, because that was the phrase that my friend Adam had used months ago to describe us

We were separated and Ceecee and I had gone to art walk with Adam joining as kind of a third wheel. When I talked to him on the phone soon after and asked him if he was confused about why Ceecee and I weren’t together, he had said, “You guys are one. You’re opposite sides of the same coin.” I had told Ceecee that he had said that, but of course, we weren’t together then, so she didn’t respond and I was very pleasantly surprised to realize now that she still remembered that and still thinks about it.

This is really what the restoration tour is all about. Revisiting the same literal, physical places where things happened while we were breaking apart, and also revisiting those memories, those words that were spoken, those actions that were done that hurt each other and that we would never do now that we are in love again.

So how are we going as opposite sides of the same coin, you may wonder?, We are wearing tight black running pants or shorts with long-sleeved black shirts. We made signs that go on our backs with black on white for one and white on black for the other that say “Opposite sides of” and “the same coin.” Then we used a projector at school to trace and draw the front and back of a Missouri quarter onto cardboard cut-outs painted silver.

Day 57 and Counting… A Knee Injury and a Walnut Attack

Posted: November 2, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, October 2, 2010

We took our bikes out today instead of running because I hurt my knee last weekend. I was running with Ceecee and we were interval training (run/walk) and I don’t know what happened. It was at about the 8 mile mark that I started getting a stabbing pain in my right knee. I tried to just run through it, but I couldn’t. The pain became unbearable at about 9 miles and I couldn’t keep going.

The problem was, we were about two miles from the car and I still had to walk back to it, hurting every step of the way. Going up the stairs at the loft was awful, but by the next day it had mostly settled down, so we’re just kind of watching it to see what happens. I figure that if I mostly rest it, I’ll still be able to run the 10K on the 17th.

Anyway, we were in Nathaniel Greene Park – a place we really love that the South Creek Trail goes through – and a walnut fell from a tree and got me right on the forearm. Ceecee thought it was funny, but it really hurt. I guess it was funny actually, but I wasn’t laughing at the time.

Day 56 and Counting…A Bikini and She’s Going To Wear It!

Posted: November 1, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Friday, October 1, 2010

Took Ceecee shopping today and she really surprised me. She bought this really cute bikini and wrote on Facebook, “Yes, I bought a bikini and yes, I’m going to wear it.” She’s usually very self-conscious about bathing suits and wears things to cover herself up, even at the pool.

I’m glad she did. It looked really good and it makes me feel good to think that she is feeling more confident in herself because of the way I treat her. I don’t know if that’s why or not, but it’s nice to see. She plans on bringing it to St. Louis and the hotel we’re staying at has a pool.

Day 54 and Counting… New Stuff for Our Loft

Posted: October 31, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

We got a new dining table and chairs today at Dillard’s. Ceecee isn’t going to be working there much longer and we wanted to be able to use her employee discount. It’s a pub style table that’s square and sits high with a built in leaf that folds out from underneath. It’s really cool and will comfortably seat 8 without taking up a lot of room.

We’ve been making quite a few changes to the apartment. It’s mostly to help me deal with things. We’re really happy and I love our life, but I also struggle with living there. It’s hard on me mentally and emotionally to deal with the idea of us being separated and not knowing or wanting to know what may have happened there. Just changing some things helps because it makes me feel like it’s only ours and there aren’t any bad memories associated with new stuff.

Day 53 and Counting… Planning Our Anniversary Week

Posted: October 29, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Part of what we’re doing for our anniversary is going to Tennessee and attending an NFL game between the Eagles and the Titans, our two favorite teams. I’ve always loved the Philadelphia Eagles, and since most of Ceecee’s family lives in Tennessee, they’ve all become Titans fans.

Our actual anniversary is in the middle of the week, and the game is the weekend after. The weekend before, we’re going to run the Halloween 10K in St. Louis. It’s a race through downtown where a lot of people run in costumes and it sounds great. By sandwiching it between the two weekends, we are going to kind of make this year’s anniversary a week long celebration.

Day 51 and Counting… A Practice Marathon

Posted: October 22, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Ceecee was supposed to run 23 miles today. Well, let me back up. She was supposed to run 23 miles yesterday with her Galloway group, but, once again, we were enjoying our marriage a little too much. We agreed to go today and I brought my bike.

Anyway, when she was approaching the end, she told me she felt good and wanted to go ahead and run 26 just so she would know she could do it. I was pretty surprised, but if she felt fine, why not? The crazy thing is, she has to work a full shift today, so she is going to end up having run the equivalent of a full marathon and then go work 8 hours at a retail job.

I’m wanting to get out of Macy’s, but we have some things coming up that we want to do for the restoration tour, so we’re kind of talking about quitting our second jobs at Thanksgiving. The extra money will allow us to pay for some special plans we have for our anniversary next month and also our Thanksgiving trip to Chicago. We don’t need the money, but it’s nice not to have to stress or worry about how to pay for some of this.

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