Posts Tagged ‘heart’

Day T-106 and counting…

Posted: June 11, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Had a very interesting conversation with Ceecee while walking to the farmer’s market this evening. They have a small market in the town where we live on Thursday evenings and it’s close enough to walk. It just opened for the season last week and we like to try to get there and support the merchants. We used to have a small farm and we know many of the sellers from when we were involved with farmer’s markets ourselves.

As we were walking, she opened up a little about our relationship and where she was. She said she was confused and didn’t understand the way she felt. She said she didn’t mean to hurt me and that she wanted things to be good again, but she just wasn’t seeming to be able to get past some things. I asked her what they were and she didn’t really say, but she said she no longer trusted me and couldn’t get over some hurts.

I told her that I was afraid she didn’t love me anymore and she didn’t say anything. She just said she needed time and that she didn’t want to be this way. I decided to take that as hopeful that this would pass soon and didn’t push. We held hands while we walked and at least that was something.

Day T-108 and counting…

Posted: June 10, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Well, all the good from St. Louis last weekend is gone. Ceecee wrote on her Facebook today that this is her “hating random people day.” It’s been weeks now that we haven’t been close and I can’t seem to reach her. No matter what I do, it doesn’t seem to matter. We aren’t fighting, she just seems to have turned off to me. She goes through her days angry and distant and just goes through the motions at home. I don’t know what to do.

Day T-111 and counting…

Posted: June 9, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Went to St. Louis today and had a really good time. Ceecee and I go to St. Louis about once a month, usually right around payday. Sometimes it’s for the weekend, but a lot of times it’s just a day trip. We “discovered” St. Louis over the 4th of July in 2009 when we spent the weekend there.

I remember passing by on vacations when I was a kid with my family and thinking, “What a horrible place.” It always seemed awful from the car windows going by on I-70.

When we moved to Missouri – and especially when people would find out that my wife is Italian – they would say, “You know about The Hill, right?” As time went by, we came to understand that The Hill was an Italian neighborhood in St. Louis and people would talk about it like it was this wonderful place. I couldn’t imagine anything in St. Louis being nice, but eventually, we decided to go check it out.

Over a Fourth of July weekend, we got a room for two nights and completely fell in love with not only The Hill, but the whole city. We discovered Forest Park, which is bigger than New York City’s Central Park and houses the Zoo, Art Museum, History Museum (which are all free) and much more. We went to Soulard’s, a huge farmer’s market down by the river, and we ate one of the best meals I’ve ever had at Charlie Gitto’s, one of the many Italian restaurants on The Hill.

Anyway, we went today and had a lot of fun. We went to Soulard’s, got orange cream soda at Fitz’s, had a picnic in Forest Park, and spent time at The Hill, of course. We shop for Italian groceries while we’re there, and we always go to one of the bakeries for treats and bread. We’ve talked about maybe living here someday, but we’ll see.

Day T-114 and counting…

Posted: June 8, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Ceecee did this exercise video called “30 Day Shred” today. It’s a Jillian Michaels video and she found out about it from one of her friends at work. We went to Best Buy and picked it up and she says it was the toughest workout she’s ever done. I’m not sure how it could be. It’s only 20 minutes and when she goes to the gym, she usually works out for at least an hour and a half. Anyway, it’s all she’s talking about.

Day T-117 and counting…

Posted: June 7, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, April 11, 2010

Ceecee was in a better mood today. She enjoys the comics in the Sunday paper and this afternoon she sat outside in the sun reading a book. We still aren’t close like we should be, but at least she doesn’t seem angry today. I’m trying to be good to her, but she doesn’t seem to want to let me get very close. I don’t understand it. It’s not like things were perfect before, but I don’t know what this is.

Day T-118and counting…

Posted: June 6, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, April 10, 2010

Took Ceecee to Silver Dollar City this afternoon. It’s a theme park in Branson based on the 1880’s. When we first moved to Missouri, it was one of our favorite places to go. The kids loved it, we loved it, and we went all the time. We used to get season passes every year, but then for a couple of years, we didn’t. This past year, we bought them again, just for the two of us.

I’m glad we did, because it’s still sort of a magical place for us. It was really great to see Ceecee excited about getting away for a day and we always have fun there. Not only that, but we’re more romantic. Ceecee is always extra loving when we’re there, although I’m not sure why.

Today was fun. We took silly pictures, rode rides, and ate unhealthy, but good tasting food. Good day.

Day T-120 and counting…

Posted: June 5, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Thursday, April 8, 2010

MAP is kicking my butt. Ceecee’s too. It’s been a really sucky week. At least she’s enjoying cooking. Man, can she make some great food. It was penne with salsiccia last night and three cheese risotto tonight. Coming home to that and a good glass of wine makes it not quite so bad.

I wish I could figure out what’s going on with her. We’ve never been like this and I’m getting worried. I know her job is stressful, but this is beyond problems at work. She’s angry all the time and she won’t let me in. How can I help her if she won’t even tell me what’s going on?

Day T-122 and counting…

Posted: June 4, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I hate MAP testing. It’s the state standardized tests we have to give at school every Spring. It’s always a stressful time and I can’t wait until it’s over. Ceecee is hating life and I can understand why. She has to test the behavior disordered students in a one on one setting. I don’t envy that, but I don’t like what I’m doing either.

Day T-124 and counting…

Posted: June 3, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Sunday, April 4, 2010

Well, the Easter Bunny came and today has been a pretty nice day. Ceecee liked her stuff and she also insisted that we get a basket for our grown daughter Angie, even though she’s married and has a husband who should be doing these things. That’s the Mom in her not wanting to let go and that’s ok.

Day T-125 and counting…

Posted: June 2, 2012 in Love and Marriage
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Saturday, April 3, 2010

Ceecee thinks she can’t swim, but she can. She was an army brat growing up and never had swimming lessons. Now she wants to start swimming, but she always says she doesn’t know how. Back when we lived in Dodge City, KS, I took her to the pool and she said she didn’t know how to swim. I showed her the basic strokes and she swam just fine, but today when we went to the pool at the Meyer Center, she said she didn’t know how to swim again.

I showed her again and she swam, but she could only do one length of the pool without stopping. Now we’re home and she’s filling out job applications. She got a teaching license by taking some exams, so she has a certification in science and she wants to have her own classroom next year. That would really help us out financially and would give her more of a sense of fulfillment, I think.

Tomorrow is Easter and it’s not really a big deal, but we’ve always celebrated it and my wife is kind of silly about these things. I always get her a basket with candy and usually a little gift and I put them out at night when she’s in bed. I’ll do the same tonight, but I don’t really know if it matters this year.

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